Three Things that Irritated Me about Leno’s Oprah Appearance

Everyone seems to be upset with Jay Leno (I mean more than they were before) because when he was on Oprah on January 28, he admitted to lying. He explained that he told a white lie in 2004 when he said he would be retiring in 2009.

This lie isn’t what bothered me. I don’t think I really expected Jay to retire – I only expected him to move on from The Tonight Show. When celebrities say they’re retiring, I generally don’t believe them; I actually share Jay’s view on this, where he told Oprah that while he believes that Oprah believes she will be “retiring,” he doesn’t believe she actually will. Of course she explained to Jay that she has not said she’ll be retiring, rather she is just leaving her show, but the point Jay was making about celebrities in general is the view I share with him.

What did bother me – what drove me insane actually – was the following three things:

1) Leno, as usual and as expected played the victim; he did not take any responsibility for what he did. He refused to accept that he had anything to do with killing Conan’s dream. He blamed the network (as he should), and he blamed the low ratings of The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien. However, he couldn’t admit that he had anything to do with Conan leaving The Tonight Show. He didn’t seem to have any awareness that Conan’s ratings were low most likely as a direct result of the low ratings of The Jay Leno Show, as well as the very existence of Jay’s 10 p.m. show. As many have stated, when Leno hosted The Tonight Show, he had dramas such as Law and Order as his lead-in before the local news – shows that, as David Letterman said, keeps people staring at their TVs for days. Conan didn’t have that; Conan had as his lead-in the low-rated Jay Leno Show whose low ratings almost caused the NBC affiliates to revolt. If NBC didn’t have to remove Jay from 10 p.m., and if Jay had chosen to leave NBC, as one would have expected him to, NBC would never have put Leno back at 11:35 p.m. either to push back The Tonight Show to 12:05 a.m. or to remove Conan from The Tonight Show. Without The Jay Leno Show, The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien would have had better ratings and therefore would have remained on the air. In fact, even if for some other reason (such as the fact that it was a transition or the increased ratings Letterman got from his scandal) Conan’s ratings hadn’t been good enough, his Tonight Show still would have remained on the air. After all, Leno’s ratings weren’t good for his first three years on The Tonight Show, but NBC kept him on the air. Which brings me to…

2) Leno told Oprah that Conan has been removed because of Conan’s poor ratings. He also claimed that this was the first year in The Tonight Show’s 60-year history where it would lose money. However, if losing money translates to poor ratings, then Jay seems to have forgotten about his first three years on The Tonight Show, where he had poor ratings. No one watched Jay’s Tonight Show until Hugh Grant kindly granted him an interview (that was previously scheduled) after being arrested for prostitution usage. Three years of bad ratings, and NBC didn’t cancel Leno’s Tonight Show. Yet Leno seems to really believe that NBC is canceling Conan’s Tonight Show after seven months of bad ratings. It just doesn’t make sense. (Yes, I do realize NBC cancelled Leno’s 10 p.m. show after five months because of bad ratings, but that is only because of the damage he was doing to their affiliates. When Jay had bad ratings on The Tonight Show, I don’t believe it was affecting the affiliates in such a way.)

3) Jay whined to Oprah about Jimmy Kimmel’s alleged “sucker punch,” where Kimmel made a joke about the Conan-Jay brouhaha. Of course, as Jimmy explained, he thought that since Jay used to be a comedian, he could handle a joke made about him, and go with it, rather than continuing to robotically read cue cards and later rat Kimmel out to Oprah. So Jay whined about Kimmel making a timely and relevant joke about him, yet Jay felt there was nothing wrong with his own “joke” about Letterman, which, really, was a sucker punch…to Dave’s wife. Jay’s joke was in response to Dave’s relentless and hilarious Leno jokes and discussions since this began, and Jay felt that one joke in response to Letterman was sufficient. But Jay’s joke was personal, it was more hurtful to Dave’s wife than to Dave (I would think), it was not timely since the tale of Dave’s infidelity is no longer a current topic at all, and, most importantly, no one found it funny. I didn’t fid it funny, the audience responded with “Oooo”s, and Oprah made it clear that she did not find it funny, and that she felt the joke was beneath Jay. But Jay thought it was funny.

Maybe that’s the problem: Maybe Jay isn’t funny anymore because he just doesn’t know what is funny anymore.

SPOILER ALERT – Understanding the "Lost" Season 5 Finale (Or Trying To)

[Updated at the end, after seeing the Season 6 premiere and Lost producers on Jimmy Kimmel Live.]

[Originally an email on May 30, 2009

The following things are either my original thoughts or things I read, sometimes both. I'm not sure which for some of it, but I’ll note when I do know the source for what I say. There were things I read that I neglected to cite here, and for that I apologize, because I can’t seem to re-find everything I read. ]

Some Random Plot Points and Articles that Explain Things Nicely

The best show ever, Best Week Ever, has someone (Dan Hopper and maybe others) writing all about the other best show ever, Lost. This is a very nice recap of the Lost Season 5 finale, with some interpretations and explainings of stuff! It's wonderful!

You can also watch the full episode of Best Week Ever from the week of the Lost Season 5 finale where they talk about the finale at the beginning.

This fantastic article from Entertainment Weekly explains the book (Everything That Rises Must Converge) I was curious about from the finale – the one Jacob was reading before he touched John Locke after the latter fell out of the window. Jeff Jensen (or Doc Jensen as people seem to call him), the writer of the article, was mentioned in the Best Week Ever thing, so that’s how I discovered it.

If you don't want to read that whole EW article (or even if you do), this blog quotes from it and adds other stuff too! It's really good!

The Latin phrase that Richard says in response to Ilana's question "What lies in the shadow of the statue" is "Ille qui nos omnis servabit." which means "He who will save us all." The thing that told me that looks interesting and explain-y. I think some of the other articles above might have been better but this one is nice as a summary of the whole episode and some of the mythology (very nice brief descriptions of mythology actually). It also mentions the significance of Juliet's name (Shakespeare), and Penelope (Desmond's wife Penny; it says that Penelope (of The Odyssey) would weave tapestries by day and unravel them by night to stall for time while evading suitors while she waited for her Odysseus to return, by telling those suitors she would make her decisions after she finished her tapestry.


However, I don't know if I agree with what the author says about Ben and Jacob, where she says that Jacob views Ben with contempt. In one of the other articles above (or maybe somewhere else), it had said that Jacob might not have meant "why not you" with contempt as Ben perceived it, rather, he might have meant it as a way for Ben to self reflect or something. I think I agree with the latter – I didn’t feel like I heard contempt in Jacob's voice, although I think contempt is still a possibility; Jacob is still such a mystery. I think the self reflection thing might make sense, or maybe Jacob doesn't know why not Ben and was verbalizing (ok, that one's probably not the case)

I read somewhere (where fans write things, it’s gone from the internets now) that perhaps the white flash at the end was not the hydrogen bomb detonating, but rather another time flash...That seems like an interesting possibility....

Someone (I think the EW writer) noted that Jacob physically touches each of our Losties (as people seem call the main characters), but he is not present in Juliet's flashback. Additionally, Juliet seems to be the "variable" Daniel Faraday was talking about maybe, because she "changed her mind" as someone noted somewhere. She used her free will, and free will is something Jacob seems to be a really big fan of ("it's your choice"). My thought of why she wasn't touched by Jacob might be that she spent time living on the island as an Other, and I’m not sure but I think all the people who weren't touched by Jacob lived on the island at some point, so maybe they didn't need touching because they might've "felt" his presence by virtue of being on the island.

I couldn't hear this part, but I read that while Ben is killing Jacob, Jacob says "they're coming"...and then Evil/Fake John Locke (Guy-in-Black masquerading as John Locke) looks really angry and pushes dead Jacob into the fire...Someone explained that "they" is probably our Losties, and they're probably coming because of the white flash, whatever it was (most likely H-bomb detonating). And maybe their arrival will undo what Guy-in-Black did; maybe it will undo the loophole he found...


This thing explains The Black Rock, which I was confused about after reading the Best Week Ever thing.

Apparently, the ancestors of the Others came to the island sometime in the 1800s via a ship called the Black Rock which appears to have set sail from England and was probably carrying convicts heading for Australia (I gathered al this from reading, I don’t know what of it is theoretical and what is Lost fact, since I’ve been known to miss large chunks of Lost seasons). Richard, in a previous episode, was apparently making a Black Rock in a bottle, so perhaps it is the ship he came over on as well, as someone says in a blog or article (or is he part of the island? That might be my thought, I’m not sure, but I think it makes more sense in light of someone saying that the Latin the Others speak might not fit well with England in the 1800s). The Black Rock is probably the ship that Jacob and Guy-in-Black are watching approach the island in the beginning of the finale, as they debate about whether the people will self destruct or achieve something greater or something (I don’t know, I need to re-watch that). We learn there that Jacob views everything as progress, and seems to have faith in humanity and free will, while Guy-in-Black seems to not have faith in humans, and seems to feel that humans are doomed -- destined to fail. And then of course Guy-in-Black says he wants to kill Jacob and that he wants to find a loophole in order to accomplish that.

The Jacob vs. Nameless-Guy-in-Black Dichotomy

I think the biggest source of confusion about this episode (other than what the white light at the end is of course) centers on Jacob, Guy-in-Black, who they are, and who or what they represent. I’ve had some theories, and I read about most or all of the ones I thought of, as well as ones I had not thought of. I think each theory can be expressed as a dichotomy, and most of them are some form or other of the dichotomy of good vs. evil. I will discuss (or at least state) several of them here.

Good, maybe G-d (Jacob) vs. Evil, maybe Satan (Guy-in-Black) – This is probably the most obvious, and perhaps the most likely dichotomy.

Evil, Lucifer, the shiniest angel that fell from the heavens (and became Satan?) (Jacob) vs. Good (Guy-in-Black)

Biblical Jacob, Good (Jacob) vs. Esau, Biblical Jacob's "evil" twin (Guy-in-Black)

Update as I post this blog: Oh, but wait, was Biblical Jacob really the evil one? He stole Esau’s birthright – he tricked their blind father into thinking he was Esau to get the blessing of the first-born. The ambiguous dichotomy exists even in the Torah (Old Testament)! This leads to another potential dichotomy:

Evil, deceitful Biblical Jacob (Jacob) vs. Esau, Biblical Jacob's "good" twin (Guy-in-Black)

Some have suggested that Guy-in-Black is the Smoke Monster – I think that makes so much sense. But that begs the question again: is Guy-in-Black good or evil? Does he only eat the souls of evil people (as the blog above suggests) or does he eat all souls? Is he the protector of the island?

I just had a thought while typing [the email]:
Protector of Island (Guy-in-Black) vs. Protector of People (Jacob)

This goes well with other thoughts I've had before, which may or may not have been original.

Good vs. Good
Evil vs. Evil

Starting w/ evil vs. evil (because it's shorter), perhaps they are simply playing a game for the sake of a game; perhaps neither really cares who they hurt.

Good vs. Good
Island (Guy-in-Black) vs. People (Jacob)
Fate/predetermined destiny (Guy-in-Black) vs. Free Will (Jacob)

Back to good vs. evil:
The statue that Jacob lives in appears to be some Egyptian g-d or something (from what I’ve read) and if you google (ABC confirmed that the statue is the Egyptian goddess Taweret), it seems you'll get some people saying that it's evil and others saying it's good. It's evil in that it's parts of animals that kill humans (alligator, lion, stuff like that). The good side is that it's all animals that somehow represent fertility, and female animals that protect their young. Jacob lives in this dichotomous statue – that is interesting. Maybe he is simultaneously good and evil...Maybe he is G-d in that G-d is supposed to be "good" but is also destructive, and bad things happen under G-d's control (someone pointed that out, I think the EW guy maybe). I think the EW guy notes that Jacob apologizes and/or is sympathetic about bad things that happen (he says to John Locke after he falls out of the window, "I'm sorry this had to happen to you").

Update while posting this: I tried to find what I found when googling when I wrote this email, but I can’t find those things. Interestingly, I’m not finding much about Taweret being evil, but this is as close as I can find. There’s plenty out there about how Taweret is good.

This little thing tells of something I totally missed, Ben apparently saw a hieroglyphic thingie of the statue fighting the smoke monster when he was being told by the smoke monster to do as (fake) John Locke says. Is this good fighting evil? Is it evidence that Guy-in-Black is the Smoke Monster?

My little thought, probably of no actual significance: Jacob lies in the shadow of the statue, and he lives in the foot (ewwww, feet are gross). These seem like bad things, shadows, and the bottom...Are these suggestive of evil? Doesn’t the Torah say, “You shall be a head and not a tail”?

This was quite an episode...

I miss Lost. Is it 2010 yet? Best Week Ever isn't coming back until 2010 either. I think it's a conspiracy, clearly.

Update: I heard somewhere that Best Week Ever isn’t coming back at all. What kind of world are we living in, with no Best Week Ever? I hope it comes back.

How to Resolve NBC’s Late-Night Woes

(See updates at the end of this posting.)

Apparently the rumors were true – Jay Leno’s 10 p.m. show will be cancelled, and Jay will move back to 11:35 PM in the form of a half hour show, pushing back Conan O’Brien’s Tonight Show and Jimmy Fallon’s Late Night to 12:05 a.m. and 1:05 a.m. respectively, and canceling Last Call with Carson Daly. It’s a shame that Jay should be quasi-cancelled, but I can’t say that I’m surprised. They seem to be blaming the time slot for Jay’s rating loss and Jay’s bringing down of the network (forgive my exaggeration), but maybe it’s not the time slot, maybe it’s Leno.

While I have almost always preferred David Letterman to Leno (I only say “almost” because there was a time when I had no preference), I have always found Leno to be funny and talented. However, since he moved to 10 p.m. – or maybe it started while he was still at the Tonight Show – he’s become less funny, in my opinion. His monologues, based on the few I’ve seen in recent times, contain a large proportion of predictable and unfunny jokes. He’s lost something, perhaps a slight edginess, perhaps in an attempt to cater to larger and earlier audience. Alternatively, perhaps it is my comedic tastes that have changed. After all, I have become obsessed with the refined and highly intelligent hilarity of The Daily Show and The Colbert Report. But then again, I still find David Letterman and Conan hilarious, as well as Chelsea Handler and Jimmy Kimmel (whom I unfortunately don’t watch as often as I would like to). So perhaps it isn’t me, after all.

While on the subject of late night comedians who don’t seem funny to me, I don’t understand the appeal of Jimmy Fallon. Sure, he’s cute, he was funny in his SNL days, and he’s likeable. However, I just don’t find him funny on Late Night. In his defense, I’ve only seen about two episodes, but I found both painfully unfunny, with only brief moments of mild laughter, as opposed to my excessive outbursts of laughter while watching the funny shows I mentioned. Jimmy Fallon’s monologues should really be better – a monologue in that format is essentially just SNL’s Weekend Update standing up, and as I mentioned, Jimmy Fallon was funny when he hosted Weekend Update. His monologues are…just…boring.

Getting back to Leno, while I don’t like that NBC and Leno are trying to screw over Conan and Jimmy Fallon by pushing them “deeper into the night” as David Carr said in The NY Times, it would really be a shame to see Leno leave the TV. As I said, he was funny, and I think he still has it in him to be funny again. In fact, I know he still has it in him because traces of his comedic talents are evident in Headlines, and in the interview segments of his show.

It seems that Leno is continuing his tradition of screwing over former Late Night hosts who seek to host The Tonight Show. First, he sneakily stole The Tonight Show from Letterman, its rightful heir, and now he and NBC are seeking to push The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien to 12:05 a.m., which, (according to this NY Post article) as Seth Meyers said on Weekend Update, is “no longer ‘tonight.’”

According to the NY Post article mentioned above, Conan has not yet made a decision regarding what he will do, though he is considering these comical concepts. Letterman also had a fun idea that I saw after thinking of this rather brilliant idea: Perhaps Leno could co-host Late Night with Jimmy Fallon. Perhaps two formerly funny people turned unfunny could together become funny once again. And what better place for Leno to re-gain his hilarity than on the set of Late Night, where David Letterman gave him a platform to showcase his funnies so many years ago. Clearly, the irony and the poetic justice would also be fun, in that Leno would be effectively demoted to Letterman’s old stomping grounds after Leno (from what I recall from The Late Shift by Bill Carter) sneakily and back-stabbingly pilfered The Tonight Show that was rightfully Dave’s.

In all seriousness, the best solution would probably be to leave Conan O’Brien, Jimmy Fallon, and Carson Daly alone, and to leave Jay Leno in his 10 p.m. time slot. The poor ratings could probably be fixed if Jay stopped kissing up to people, stopped catering to what he thinks the earlier audience wants, and just return to his formerly funny self. Instead of fixing the problem with Leno’s 10 p.m. show, NBC is creating more problems and drama that really is unnecessary. As NBC executive Jeff Gaspin stated (according to the same NY Post article mentioned above), a change such as a 10 p.m. comedy talk show will likely take time to obtain the degree of success the network and its affiliates hope for. I learned that from Howard Stern’s rants in years past, when he would point out the idiocy of radio and probably TV executives who have no patience and don’t seem to understand that changes take time to reach success – that success doesn’t happen over night.

UPDATE January 13, 2010: Conan has admirably decided not to accept NBC's demotion to 12:05 a.m., explaining that it would destroy both The Tonight Show and Late Night.

UPDATE January 19-20, 2010: It looks like this is Conan's final week on The Tonight Show, since all that's left are the minor details of Conan's exit from the evil claws of NBC, who will reportedly be paying Conan and his staff a nice severance of $40 million and allowing him to find work elsewhere. Jay Leno will likely get to steal back The Tonight Show (which is nice since Jay likes to steal things). Leno discussed his thoughts on the subject, of course acting as if he is a blameless saint, as he always does, going so far as to encourage people not to blame Conan, which, as David Letterman correctly and hilariously pointed out, no one has been doing. Leno acted similarly in 2004 as well, when he clearly stated that he would gracefully pass on The Tonight Show to Conan in 2009. But at the time, he neglected to mention that he would ungracefully take it back in 2010.

I feel bad contributing to the Leno hatred, even if he is deserving of it due to his continued back-stabbing and sneaky behavior. The fact is, the real problem is NBC and the idiot executives who work there (it seems Jeff Zucker would be the biggest idiot of them all, based on what everyone is saying). If they had just listened to me and 1) asked Leno to be funny again and 2) kept things the way they were, in time, the ratings might have improved, or at least they could then say they tried. If they had given The Jay Leno Show at 10 p.m. and The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien an appropriate amount of time to settle in, then at least they could say they honored Conan O'Brien's and Jay Leno's contracts...in an honorable way.

UPDATE January 22, 2010: Conan’s severance deal with NBC has been finalized. He will receive $33 million and his staff will receive $12 million. Conan’s final Tonight Show will be tonight, and Leno will return to The Tonight Show on March 1, 2010. Conan will not be permitted to have a competing show until September 2010, and he is forbidden from speaking ill of NBC after he leaves, but Letterman kindly assured us last night that he can and will continue to make fun of NBC.

UPDATE April 15, 2010:  I watched Jimmy Fallon on Late Night a couple of times more recently than when he premiered as well as on The Marriage Ref, and I'm happy to say, he has become funny again.  Also, I like The Marriage Ref, despite people's criticisms of it; I enjoy watching funny celebrities talking and arguing with each other.  Finally, Jay Leno is still not funny.