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Sunday, June 10, 2012

No Alternative to the Hunger Games

***SPOILER ALERT: The Hunger Games trilogy (novels, not the movie) is discussed below.***

WARNING: Please do not steal my words or thoughts without crediting/citing me. Thank you.

After reading The Hunger Games trilogy and discussing the end of it with a friend, I thought I might attempt to write an alternate ending. This friend was deeply disappointed with the actual ending, feeling that the tone of the trilogy had shifted, causing our strong and heroic Katniss Everdeen to wither into a sobbing, weak, and pathetic not-so-hero. While I felt this ending was fitting to the trilogy, I thought an alternate ending could fix the problem that my friend was having with it. However, I have come to the conclusion that the trilogy ended as it should have, and that it therefore should not be tampered with.

During my young adulthood, I disliked happy endings in fiction, for they rarely reflect reality and render otherwise moving tales stagnant. However, now in my old age (early 30’s), I have found myself craving happy endings, for fiction is an escape from harsh and painful reality. But the fact is, happy endings don’t have the effect of tragic ones; they don’t stay with you – they don’t forever change you as tragic endings can. “They lived happily ever after” is idealistic, optimistic, hopeful, happy, and unattainable. “They died tragically” and “They tragically fell from grace and heroism” can motivate human brains/minds to think, change, grow, and flourish.

The Hunger Games trilogy does not have a purely happy ending, nor does it have a purely tragic one. It is bittersweet – simultaneously deeply and painfully tragic, and deeply and genuinely blissful. Katniss lost so much throughout the books, yet she appeared to be unbreakable. However, with each struggle, she cracked, until the ultimate destruction of her spirit and fire, fueled by the murder of her little sister Prim, Prim was the source of her fire, the source of her Mockingjay wings, and the source of her drive to fight and to live. Without Prim, she could never be the Katniss that she had been – her flame was gone. However, her ability to survive and love remained, kindled by Peeta, "the boy with the bread." The rebellion was successful; because of Katniss, who had the good judgment (because this is fiction) to kill the evil President Coin, the country of Panem could live up to its name and nourish its people with the metaphoric bread of freedom. Katniss, Peeta, and their children could live happily ever after, with her tragically extinguished but happily though more weakly rekindled flame.

President Snow was never able to extinguish Katniss, "the girl that was on fire." When President Coin was introduced, her eyes were described as the color of slush, which led me to believe she was a watered down version of Snow. However, in the end it became clear that she was in fact, the waterlogged version of Snow – Snow made heavier with water, finally able to extinguish the girl that was on fire by extinguishing Prim, the source of Katniss’s flame. Snow attempted to destroy Katniss by hijacking Peeta, her biggest fan, and turning him into a weapon programmed to kill her, but Coin took this concept further. Not only did she (unsuccessfully) attempt to use the hijacked Peeta to kill Katniss once she was no longer useful to Coin, but she used Katniss’s best friend Gale’s idea in her murder of Prim, and she thus used two of the most important people in Katniss’s life as weapons against her. Where Snow’s evil plans failed, Coin’s psychopathically evil plan succeeded to the extent that she destroyed the fiery essence of Katniss. Unfortunately for Coin, however, Katniss remained intact long enough to rightfully kill Coin.

Coin did not hunger for freedom for all; she only hungered for power, as her monetary name suggests, since money is power. Her decision to have another Hunger Games with Capitol children as revenge demonstrates that she and Snow are two sides of the same coin, and clearly elucidates that she would perpetuate Snow’s tyranny, rendering the revolution utterly pointless since they would undoubtedly revert to their old, oppressive ways. Katniss agreed to this Hunger Games proposal, allegedly for Prim’s sake, but that didn’t make any sense, since Prim would certainly never want such a thing. I’m still somewhat unsure of whether Coin or Snow killed Prim and the Capitol children, but either way, killing more children simply couldn’t improve the situation. This was blind revenge gone too far. Katniss’s obsession with seeking vengeance on Snow had bloomed like Snow's rancid rose into something horrible. Driven by revenge, revenge on the innocent children of what might be the wrong people, Katniss had become her own enemy, the Capitol. She no longer saw who the real enemy was. Katniss came to her senses when she killed Coin, which is of course ironic since she was exonerated via insanity. She killed Coin partially as revenge for Prim’s murder since Coin was the most likely culprit; however since the culprit remains unclear, her true motivation was to defeat the real enemy: the oppressive Capitol that Coin presided over. Katniss realized that it didn’t matter who killed Prim, for revenge on her murderer would not provide a purpose to her death or all the others who died for the rebellion, but ending oppression and allowing for a true revolution would. Coin’s death marked the end of oppression, and the end of the Hunger Games. Obviously, Snow also had to die, even though his death alone would not have ended the oppressive era as Coin’s death did. Regardless of whether Snow killed Prim or not, he oppressed, killed, and pimped so many people for so long. He allowed the Hunger Games to go on. I’m glad he died, but I wish there had been a way for Katniss to do the honors. Come to think of it, perhaps she did cause his death. He died after Katniss killed Coin, either by choking on his bloody laughter or by the ensuing mob, both of which were caused by her assassination of Coin. Therefore, Katniss did kill Snow, albeit indirectly. Woohoo.

Regarding my uncertainty about who killed Prim via the two part exploding silver parachutes deployed from the Capitol hovercraft, I am leaning toward Coin and the rebels. I remain unsure, though, because if it really was Plutarch and Coin, one would think that rebel medics wouldn't go to help the injured children, and Capitol medics would, however, the reverse is true. I imagine Coin could have been willing to sacrifice some medics, particularly since Prim was among them, to make Snow look even more horrible, in case recklessly killing Capitol children wasn’t enough to drive a wedge between the Capitol citizens and Snow, and thus quickly ending the war. Snow claimed that he could not be behind the silver parachute murders because there would be no purpose for him to kill those children, however, if the real target was Katniss the Mockingjay, symbolic leader of the rebellion, there would certainly be sufficient purpose from his evil perspective, because Snow killing Katniss could have quickly ended the rebellion with the Capitol as victor, and he wanted to kill her anyway. Since the compassionate people who went to help the children injured by the first set of explosions were part of the target, and since Katniss and Prim are compassionate, Katniss (or Katniss via Prim) is clearly the intended target of the exploding silver parachutes, and therefore both Snow and Coin could be culpable since they both wanted Katniss dead or destroyed. The fact that the trap utilized the concept that Gale described suggests that it was Coin and the rebels, however, Gale thinks like the enemy to create his traps, which suggests that it could have been Snow. Snow’s amusement at Katniss’s assassination of Coin suggests that he was not the perpetrator, amused by the fair and just assassination of his enemy; however, it could also indicate his joy at successfully manipulating Katniss to wrongly believe that Coin was the culprit. The latter seems more in line with Snow’s character, particularly Snow’s hijacking of Peeta, and if that is the case, then the joke is on Snow, since Katniss killed Coin for the sake of the revolution and not (as much) for revenge. Despite all of my confusion and evidence on both sides, I think the book (or I suppose its author) expects us to believe that Coin killed Prim.

Getting back to the trilogy’s ending, Katniss’s “happily ever after” could only happen with Peeta. I don’t believe she was ever in love with Gale, though she obviously loved him dearly. Throughout the trilogy, she fell in love with Peeta while growing apart from Gale. Perhaps the shared experiences with Peeta and lack thereof with Gale contributed to this, as people sometimes do grow together and apart with shared and unshared life-changing experiences such as three Hunger Games, or three wars, but of which happened, since the Hunger Games are partially controlled wars. Gale’s unintentional hand in killing Prim sealed his separation from Katniss, because aside from the obvious (that Katniss always cared more about Prim than herself), it crystallized the fact that Gale lacks compassion, as demonstrated by his concept that was behind the trap that killed Prim, which takes advantage of human compassion. Peeta, on the other hand, is the essence of compassion. Through two Hunger Games and a revolutionary war, he managed to avoid intentionally killing anyone (unless I’m remembering wrong). Furthermore, Peeta brought Katniss back to life twice: after her father died and after Prim died. He gave her the bread that gave her the hope and therefore the ability to survive and he planted the primrose bushes to give her hope once again, that she could survive. Thus, Gale’s bomb concept killed Prim, whereas Peeta salvaged Prim’s spirit when he planted the primrose bushes for Katniss. Gale still had an essential role in her life, since he salvaged her family’s past and her bow and arrows. Peeta’s primrose bushes and Gale’s bow saving are what revived and rekindled Katniss and returned her to herself, at least to the extent that was possible.

Katniss never wanted children because she didn’t want them to fallow in her footsteps in the Hunger Games, but the Hunger Games no longer existed, so her children could play in the meadow of freedom and safety as the lullaby she sang to a dying Rue promised, and that was all Katniss ever wanted. Even this is marred with tragedy, in that the happy meadow lies above the mass grave of the fallen citizens of Katniss’s home, a place where I think a memorial garden might have been a nice gesture. In the end, Katniss is as happy as she could be, amidst the tragic circumstances.

If I were to write an alternate ending, Prim would have to not die, for without Prim, Katniss has to be transformed as she is at the end of the trilogy. But if Prim hadn’t died, Katniss would not have had the fuel to kill Coin, so perhaps in my alternate ending, Katniss could be fueled with the desire to make Prim’s death meaningful beyond Coin’s assassination and the successful end of the rebellion. I had incorrectly predicted while reading the trilogy that Katniss Everdeen, as her last name suggests (Everdeen = ever + dean = always leads), would become the leader of the new, post-rebellion country. (Apparently, I was only correct to the extent that she was the leader of the rebellion as the Mockingjay). Therefore, in my alternate ending that I’m not writing, Katniss would become the democratically elected president of Panem, where she would ensure that oppression would become a thing of the past. Of course, this does happen in the trilogy, except with President Paylor rather than President Everdeen, so my ending would simply maintain Katniss as the still-unbreakable hero.

My alternate ending would still be bittersweet. Even though I would still have Katniss and Peeta together with their kids, Katniss could never be happy as President. Presidents live in the spotlight, they perform for the camera, and some are puppets of other political leaders or movements. Her marriage to Peeta would be in the spotlight too, and even after her time as president ends, for the rest of her life, she and her family would remain highlighted in the public eye, always performing for the cameras. She would never feel that her love or her life were real, because there would always be an element of performance, of fakeness. In the real ending, there are no cameras, and there is no spotlight – there is no reality show. There is only reality. She believes her life is how it would have been if there had been no Hunger Games, and if she were president, she could never have that luxury. And that is why the end cannot be altered. It is perfect, because Katniss is happy, even if relatively flameless, weak, and irreversibly broken. Furthermore, she did give Prim’s death meaning beyond the end of oppression in that she lived a happy and free life; her life is not only free from oppression, but it is free of the puppet strings wielded by people in power.

As I wrote this blog posting, the true meaning of Katniss Everdeen’s last name materialized in my brain. Aside from indicating her role as leader of the rebellion, it also signifies the role her father played throughout her life, since her last name came from her father, as last names often do. Her father, in his life and after his death, has educated and guided her through every struggle she has faced. He would always be with her.

This strengthens my belief that the book ended as it should, given that we make a few assumptions about Katniss’s family’s future. In the end, Katniss states that she does still have her fire, fueled now by the hope that Peeta brings and by the desire to give meaning and purpose to the deaths of Prim and all the others who died for the freedom of Panem. Their is evidence for Katniss's new fire; she returned to her hunting ways and I choose to assume that she is proud of her part in history, though she is plagued by PTSD. I incorrectly predicted sometime during the first book that what we are reading is Katniss telling her children about her experiences long after the successful rebellion. I was correct in my predictions that there would be a rebellion, that it would be successful, and that she would have children since the only reason she insisted that she didn’t want children was because of the Hunger Games. It is still possible that Katniss could tell her children of her experiences and the crucial part she and their father played in the revolution that gave them freedom, since the trilogy ends with the children still rather young. Thus, I choose to believe in a post-epilogue where she will tell her children, and that the books are that history lesson. I also choose to believe that she teaches her children to hunt as well, so her father’s teachings will be passed from generation to generation, forever guiding, forever educating, and forever leading.

Friday, April 20, 2012

A Sad Idol Day

**SPOILER ALERT AI-11 Top 7 parts 1 and 2 results are discussed below.***

I am heartbroken and shocked that Colton Dixon was voted off American Idol. He should have won. I couldn’t even vote for him because I couldn’t get through, which is normally an indication that a contestant will not be eliminated. Therefore, this is obviously a big conspiracy.

Colton could have at least been the traditional “shocking” Top 4 elimination, as Chris Daughtry was so many successful years ago. Colton certainly should not have been voted out at the Top 7 level. Last week, the judges were absolutely correct to use their save for Jessica Sanchez, because she and her massive talent also don’t deserve to be voted out this early. Since Colton was removed, I now believe that Jessica should win, with Joshua Ledet as the runner up, and Hollie Cavanagh in the Top 3 (since she has improved so much). Regarding Skylar Laine and Phillip Phillips, I do think they are quite talented; however, I’m simply not the biggest fan of either. I am a bit of a fan of Elise Testone, but I don’t think she is as talented as the rest of the Top 7.

Someone on the TV suggested that Colton was voted out because of his performance of Lady Gaga’s "Bad Romance," however, I loved that performance – I love what he did with what is probably Gaga’s best song ever. My guess is that the red blob he added to his newly blond hair might have had something to do with his removal. However, as I stated previously, his talent is so phenomenal that what he does to his hair is rendered less significant. Anyway, regardless of why he was (wrongly) voted out, it shouldn’t have happened, and I know that he will be successful. I very much look forward to buying his CD when it is released, for there is no doubt that there will be one to begin his (knock on wood) long and successful career, and that it will be amazing.

The dimly bright side to Colton’s elimination is that I can now go ahead and buy all of his things on iTunes. You see, I am not a fan of iTunes (I love Amazon MP3), so I was waiting until the season was over to go and purchase all the American Idol contestants' songs that I want, and thusly minimize my exposure to the dreadful iTunes. Since Colton’s are the only songs that I absolutely need to own, I will go ahead and buy his songs now. Perhaps I will make another journey to the iTunes hellscape at the end of the season for some of the other songs of the other contestants, but such a treacherous venture might not happen. I wish these things were not exclusive to iTunes, for Amazon MP3 is so much better.

UPDATE April 24, 2012

I saw Colton on the TV, and he has removed the red blob from his hair, so he obviously read my blog and took my implied advice! There is no other possible explanation! Woohoo! Unfortunately, however, his hair remains blond.

I was listening to one of Chris Daughtry’s Idol performances (his best one ever), and I realized that I love Colton the way I love Daughtry. They both have the kind of voice, emotion, and talent that reaches deep within my soul and brain, captivating me and causing me to mutter with admiration, “OMG, I love him so much.” While Daughtry’s effect is stronger than Colton’s, Colton’s effect is still undeniable. This provides further certainty that Colton will be tremendously successful.

UPDATE March 9, 2013
SPOILER ALERT: American Idol Season 12 Top 10 results are mentioned below.

It seems that my hopes and predictions were wrong, in that Jessica Sanchez did not win, but rather was runner up to Phillip Phillips.  I did end up venturing back into the iTunes hellscape to purchase some of Jessica's Idol songs, and I will likely buy her debut album when it is released this Spring.  Moments ago, I purchased Colton Dixon's album A Messenger, which is wonderful as expected.

If you're interested in my Idol thoughts regarding the 2013 batch, there are currently only four of the Top 10 who I really like, in the following order: Kree Harrison, Lazaro Arbos, Angie Miller, and Devin Velez.  While he is not in the Top 10, I also really like Charlie Askew, who has a wonderfully apt last name that appears to be real.  I hope he finds success and happiness.  Aside from talk of her last name or whether she is pleasantly askew, the same could be said of Aubrey Cleland.

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Long Overdue Idol Thoughts

I’ve been meaning to make a few statements regarding American Idol this season, but I haven’t been very bloggy lately.

At the time of the Top 24 revelation, I erupted in “Woohoo!”s when Colton Dixon made it though. The judges had redeemed themselves from last year’s terrible lapse in judgment. When he made it through this year, I knew immediately that he would surely win!

When the Top 13 was revealed, I was happy with the contestants. I felt they were all good enough to be there, even if I didn’t love all of them. I was still sure that Colton will win, and it was clear then that the runner up would be Jessica Sanchez. In the following weeks, I concluded that Joshua Ledet would be in the Top 3. Thusly, my predictions were established.

I had become a big fan of Heejun Han, both for his funny and cute personality and his lovely singing; however, I sensed that he wouldn’t win. At the time of Heejun’s Billy Joel Week performance, I knew his Idol time was short. Jimmy Iovine had complained that Heejun was not taking the competition seriously, however, I believe he was; he took the singing very seriously, it seemed, but maintained a healthy sense of humor regarding the non-sing-y portions of the program. This changed with his Billy Joel performance, when his singing became a bit of a joke. The following week, he regained his singing genuineness; I was once again captivated by him as he sang beautifully. However, his humor was dampened, and I believe that is what led to his being voted out. I believe he could have lasted at least one or two more weeks if he had simply maintained the balance of serious singing and funny personality-ing.

I liked all the rest of the Top 13 contestants, with the exception of Deandre Brackensick. I don’t like his hair, and I am not moved by his singing at all. In the weeks following the Top 13, I found that his arrogance and something about the way he moves prevents me from liking him. His mediocre singing is, of course, also a factor in my disliking. Currently I am hoping that tonight will be the time of his out-voting, for regardless of my personal thoughts about his arrogance and distasteful hair, his talent is no longer up to the par of the other seven remaining contestants.

UPDATE April 6, 2012


***SPOILER ALERT*** Top 8 results are mentioned below.

Woohoo! Deandre’s hair was voted out last night! And Deandre's mediocre talent was voted out with it! I would take credit for this wonderful elimination, however, I posted this blog posting moments before the results show began, so obviously all the voting had long since ended. But I can still take credit for thinking and hoping that he would be voted out, and thus telepathically influencing the universe! Woohoo! I go girl! (Notice that I didn’t actually vote this time, so I can’t take credit that way).

I would like to take a moment to address another hairy issue: Colton’s hair. I love Colton’s hair, for it contributes to his rock-starriness. However, I’m not a big fan of the blondification of his hair. While he does still look (and sing) like rock star, and I still love him and want him to win, I simply prefer the previous state of his hair. I must emphasize, however, that I don’t hate it, and even if I did, his talent and voice are so amazing and beautiful that the other stuff is rendered far less significant. To conclude, I love Colton.

Monday, January 9, 2012

House of Disappearing Actresses

**SPOILER ALERTS: The following might refer to things that have happened on House M.D., Lost, Person of InterestOnce Upon a Time, and Grimm up to the date of this blog posting. Any reference to the future is my own speculation, and therefore is extremely likely to come true, for I was right about at least one thing on Lost.**

Before I begin my digression-full meandering discussion of House, I must tell you that while searching my blog for the posting where I elatedly realized I was right about something important on Lost, I noticed that as of right now, I have written 23 blog posts with the Lost label! 23! 23 was one of the numbers! Holy crap! I absolutely didn’t do that intentionally, and I didn’t even notice until now (if I did, I don’t remember)! Jacob’s numbers invaded my brain and blog! I told you there might be spoilers, so please stop complaining, 3 people who still haven’t watched the Lost finale yet. You know who you are.

Onto the actual purpose of this blog…

Before this evening’s rerun of House where Thirteen made her final appearance, I thought about my previous blog postings where I wondered and googled about Thirteen’s and Cameron’s at-the-time potential impending departures from House, and I realized that I never addressed their apparent actual departures. So I’m doing that now, since the TV admitted that it read my mind by airing that particular episode hours after I had those particular thoughts.

Based on what I have heard from various sources such as the TV and my mom (who read a magazine article), it would seem that Olivia Wilde (Thirteen), Jennifer Morrison (Cameron), and Lisa Edelstein (Cuddy) have left House M.D. This is not new news, of course, and all their characters have had closure on the program, but as I said, I felt that I should address (or at least mention) their departures here, so that my blog can have closure regarding these characters as well.

All three actresses have already moved on to other things such as movies and other programs on the TV. I don’t know where Lisa Edelstein went, but Olivia Wilde made some movies whose commercials I’ve seen. Jennifer Morrison is now the star of another show called Once Upon a Time.

I discovered Once Upon a Time last week when ABC had a marathon of it. I read in the Wikipedia that it was created by a couple of Lost writers, with Damon Lindelof (Lost co-creator) as a consultant, so it’s not surprising that it easily drew me in. It’s a show about fairy tale characters, and is thusly similar to another new show about fairy tale characters that also drew me in called Grimm. Together (with an emphasis on Grimm), these two programs have caused me to get the original translation of the Brothers Grimm fairy tales (free on Kindle!), which are more violent than Disney would have us believe. Some of the Amazon reviewers explain that the Grimm brothers were just jotting down the folk tales of oral tradition, and therefore their stories might not have been intended for young children. At some point in my adulthood, I did notice some excessive violence, even in the childproofed versions of these tales that we were all told.

Anyway, getting back to Jennifer Morrison, her character on Once Upon a Time is really quite different from Cameron, in that the former is far more bad-ass than the latter. Perhaps because of this bad-assed-ness, I find that I like this character a lot better than Cameron, who was probably removed from House because the writers ran out of ways to keep the most moral character from being annoying. That is not to say that morals are annoying – I rather enjoy morals – but it is to say the character had been falling down an annoying spiral since she married Chase, perhaps because she was probably still in love with her dead husband.

Emma Swan, Jennifer Morrison’s Once Upon a Time character, maintains Cameron’s morals while exhibiting a satisfying though small degree of bad-assed-ness. Cameron was nearly one-dimensional, while Emma already has depth after only a few episodes. Both Cameron and Emma are good, but Once Upon a Time seems to have the same theme that Lost had – that nothing is purely good or purely evil, and everything and everyone possess both good and evil facets. Thus, Cameron was simply good with non-evil flaws, while Emma is predominantly good. There is the sense that Emma is capable of evil, as all humans are, but she chooses good, as clearly explicated in yesterday’s episode, where she made it clear that she wanted good to win over evil, for the sake of her biological son.

It’s unfortunate that Cameron, Cuddy, and Thirteen were written out of House M.D. for one reason or another, particularly since House hasn’t been as good as it was since their departures, but I’m glad that the three actresses are doing other things. I believe Olivia Wilde and Lisa Edelstein chose to leave House, and I know that Jennifer Morrison did not, so I’m particularly happy that she found employment on this new program that, at the time of this blog posting, is better than recent House episodes.

Unfortunately, Once Upon a Time and Grimm might end up getting cancelled, because that seems to be the fate of most shows that I watch from the beginning, such as Flash Forward and Free Agents. Let us hope that the only curse on Once Upon a Time (and Grimm, and New Girl (the other new show I watch)) is the fictional one on the non-parenthetical program. Oh, I also occasionally watch Person of Interest, because it contains Ben from Lost (Michael Emerson, not the character) and because it’s a good show, but that program should be safe from my inadvertent curse since I don’t watch it regularly. I should mention that The Simpsons is the only exception to my inadvertent curse that I can think of at the moment.

Before this blog posting ends, I must digress once more, and in so doing, I shall create a fun Lost numbers bookend (blogend?) for this posting.  I thought it was rather cute and fun that in the pilot episode of Person of Interest, Michael Emerson’s character had a mysterious and cryptic list of names and numbers!  Hahahahaha, yes, I thoroughly enjoyed that Lost allusion!

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Economics from a Dummy

**DISCLAIMER: If any of the following appears strange or offensive in any way, please assume that it is intended as exaggeration or hyperbole.**

Although I know almost nothing about economics, I shall present my economic theory here. Thusly, it shall, quite literally, be an idiot’s guide to economics, in that I am the idiot.

My Lack of Credentials

I was forced to take an economics course in high school – a whole semester of a course! I was told at some point in my life that I should love economics, for it is a social science infused with math, and these are two things I have been known to enjoy, excluding of course, my K-12 (minus 8th and 11th grades) difficulties with actual social studies courses. However, not only do I not love economics, I rather detest it. I find it painfully boring, and I find myself unable to grasp most economic concepts. It’s very possible that the former is causing the latter; in fact, I would argue that it most certainly is, as evidenced by my love of hardcore neuroscience and hardcore physics despite my inability to grasp things in those fields of knowledge. This is evidence because my lack of understanding with interest feels entirely different from my lack of understanding without interest. Furthermore, even when I do understand something in economics, I am still intensely bored by it, and I think it might be impossible for me to have any real interest in it.

Anyway, the point is, I don’t understand much of anything that involves economics, and I think I got a B or less in that economics class I was forced to take. Thus, I am by no means, an expert or qualified in any way to postulate any kind of economic theory or even thought.

My Theory (or Quasi-Theory, or really Non-Theory)

My Non-Theory has three nearly unrelated parts.

Part One: It’s All a Gamble

Something suddenly occurred to me today that I am quite sure no other human on Earth has ever realized before. In fact, I am so sure of this, that I am not even going to Google to confirm my statement.

It occurred to me that the whole stock market is nothing but institutionalized, society-encouraged, legal gambling. One is expected to invest money in something with the hope that that money will grow, but it’s very possible that the money will shrink significantly. One is expected to continue gambling that money, and decide at what point the stock should be sold, which is also a gamble. One is then expected to continue this never-ending loop of buying and selling stocks, and thus, the gambling never ends.

One of the few things I remember from that economics course that was forced upon me in high school was the claims of the importance of investing, particularly in the stock market. I believe it was a guest speaker that explained that it is best to start early, and that our parents would likely help us. Clearly, these stock-pushers wanted to get the kids started young on their new legal gambling addictions, and clearly they wanted to get as many of us involved in it as possible, while we were young and impressionable, by having an authority figure that we were to inherently trust to tell us of all the wonderful things that might happen if we invest early. This very clearly indicates the degree to which our society encourages stock market gambling.

Since I couldn’t help myself, I did Google, but I will just pretend that this wasn’t the first Google result of many that indicates that the stock market being a form of gambling is a commonly held belief.

Part Two: Commodity Stocks will be our Downfall

Some time ago (I don’t know how long ago, hence the use of  “some time ago”), I saw a video on the interwebs that explained commodity stock trading. I don’t know what that video was, and I am far too lazy to find it for you. As you should expect if you read the beginning of this blog posting, I failed to understand the bulk of what the video explained. However, I did understand one thing (that might or might not have been explicated in the video): The commodity stock trade will be our downfall.

The man in the video and people that I have seen on the TV after I saw the video explained that commodities are things like oil, sugar, coffee, and most importantly, cocoa. From what I gather, it seems that Wall Street people make presumably psychic speculations about the future of these commodities and then pretend to trade them via the stock market. Their pretend trading causes real things to happen to the prices of these commodities in our real economy, and I am therefore quite sure, will inevitably cause real problems and our real downfall as a society that once had a real economy.

The gambling of the commodity portion of the stock market is far worse than the normal stock market gambling. It’s a game involving imaginary trades that result in real changes that affect real people and real chocolate. I therefore suggest, with my complete and utter lack of credentials and nearly complete lack of economic understanding, that we abolish the commodity stock trade, and that alone will fix our economy. I’m sure of it – as sure as I am of the originality and pure novelty of Part One of my Fabulous Non-Theory of Economics.

Ultimately, I felt bad that I didn’t look for the video that first taught me about commodities, so I tried to find it, but I could not. While unsuccessfully searching for it, I saw several snippets that seem to agree with me in that commodity speculation is damaging, and I won't pretend those don't exist. Here are some French people talking about the need for regulation of it. This suggests that I might have understood this better than I thought I did. I go girl!

Part Three: Simple Taxes for Simple and Also Not Simple Folk

A few months or a few years ago, I had a brilliant thought. Instead of arguing about different groups of people being taxed different amounts, and instead of having horribly confusing tax laws and forms, why not have a simplified theory on taxation. Since I’m playing fast and loose with my misuse of the word “theory,” I figured I should continue with that trend. Anyway, my simplified taxation non-theory is as follows:

Pick a percentage, and require all the people to pay that particular percentage of their net (or would it be gross? I'm not entirely sure what these things mean) income to the government as their sole taxes. That way, the wealthier people will end up paying higher taxes, the poorer people will pay lower taxes, and no one will complain because it will be 100% fair. Perhaps a few tweaks here and there would be necessary, but I think this could work really well.

For someone who knows nearly nothing about economics, I sure am smart, with my brilliant ideas! But I won’t run for president, and you can’t make me.

Monday, June 6, 2011

Poor Weiner

Well, it seems another politician has another sex scandal. Often funny and friend of Jon Stewart Congressman Anthony Weiner admitted that he sent a picture of his weiner in his undies to a woman on the Twitter. He says he meant it as a part of a joke, and that he has done other inappropriate things on the interwebs and the phone, both before and after marrying his wife. He also says he has never met any of these women in person, clearly implying that the hyper-flirtation only happened from very long distances.

I think that as far as political sex scandals go, this is really quite ethical, assuming that Congressman Weiner is not still lying. It’s really nothing compared to Eliot Spitzer and his adulterous use of hookers, or Bill Clinton and the jobs he had his interns doing while he was married. As Congressman Winkie, I mean Weiner (sorry, I had to) said, he didn’t break any laws, and he will cooperate fully with an ethics investigation insuring he didn’t break any House rules. He also didn’t make his wife stand there with him while he confessed as some Eliot Spitzers did. He mentioned that his wife understandably thinks he’s an idiot, but is not divorcing his dumb a**.

I’m comfortable making these statements about Congressman Weiner’s relative morality, assuming that he is not still lying, because, like David Letterman, he took full responsibility for his immoral actions; he made a point to state that the woman who was the recipient of his bulging photo is not responsible for this at all, and should never have been dragged into this mini-scandal. His apologies, his remorse, his shame, and his tears seemed sincere to me. Of course, he could be a good actor, or I could be an idiot who feels bad when boys (or anyone) cry and take responsibility for their actions. Conversely, as much as I love Bill Clinton for his politics, his intelligence, and the nice things he does for the world, he is a good example of a disgusting immoral sex-crazed adulterer who tried desperately not to take responsibility for his actions.

Anthony Weiner didn’t admit to his tweet until, I assume, he realized his past inappropriateness was going to be disinterred. According to the NY Times blog, he made his announcement after another bout of inappropriate internet behavior from a month ago was revealed. Nonetheless, less than two weeks of lies followed by a full confession is really rather impressive for a politician.

If you’re sensing that I hold politicians to much, much lower moral standards than I hold normal humans to, you're absolutely right. Thanks to people like Bill Clinton, Eliot Spitzer, and probably millions more, I have learned to assume that all politicians are either evil in some power-hungry way, or are whores. Perhaps the hunger for power facilitates the slutty behavior, since the slutty behavior might simply be another way to gain or use their power. I don’t know if this hunger for power is a pre-existing condition for politicians, or if it’s something that happens after a person has been in politics and the power they are inherently given morally corrupts him…or her I suppose, but we never seem to hear about female politicians being adulterous sluts. Perhaps the direction of the power-politics causality depends on the individual.

Anyway, the point of all this is that while Anthony Weiner’s wife is absolutely correct in saying her husband is dumb, and while he clearly does have some moral issues, if he is not lying, it’s really nothing compared to the real sex scandals out there, and in my mind, it does not and should not affect his ability to do his job well, and to do good things for the world. If the far-more-sexually-immoral Bill Clinton could do it, then the much-more-moral-because-he-accepts-responsibility Anthony Weiner can definitely do it. I’m glad he is not resigning.

(Note: I added the link to Jon Stewart's coverage of this scandal after I published this blog posting.)

UPDATE June 14, 2011
Here's someone else who doesn't want Anthony Weiner to resign, and who also feels bad for the remorseful virtual adulterer.

UPDATE July 14, 2011


On June 16, Anthony Weiner unfortunately resigned.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

A Very Gaga Future

Since Lady Gaga’s latest album is now almost two weeks old, I’ve been thinking about what her next brilliant album will hold, and I have thought of two fantastic ideas (pardon the reflexive horn tooting). I hope you’re reading this, Gaga! I love you!

Gaga reminded me on an MTV interview of what I had already learned previously – that she was trained as a young Gaga in classical piano. So it occurred to me that glorious and magical things could happen if Gaga were to infuse her music with classical stuff (I’m partial to Beethoven and Mozart, but just about anything would be cool). I almost always love when genres collide, and I think a Classical-Gaga marriage could be spectacular.

My other brilliant idea came to me some time ago (I have no idea how long ago). Gaga has mentioned in various interviews that I’ve seen on the TV that she is a fan of Metallica. I have read somewhere recently, probably on an Amazon review of Born This Way, that metal fans enjoy the Gaga. As a metal fan who also enjoys pop, I assumed my Gaga love came from my taste in pop, but perhaps my rock/metal taste also had something to do with it. Anyway, this suggests that Metallica might in fact enjoy the Gaga (that is pure speculation). If Gaga’s love for Metallica is requited, then it might be fun for the world if Gaga were to collaborate with Metallica to create something beautiful. I can imagine the voices of Gaga and James Hetfield duetting beautifully, and some mixture of the music of both could be beautifully interesting. Maybe they could even throw in some rockin’ Beethoven!

I should mention that the collaborate-with-Metallica idea is not new to me. I have previously thought that Metallica should collaborate with Evanescence, Avril Lavigne (because she performed Fuel surprisingly well, I think on the MTV), and probably others that I can’t remember now. I have also joined Josh Groban with various other artists in my brain (again, Evanescence comes to mind). Oooo, Josh Groban would also sound great with Metallica and/or Gaga!

I hope all these people read my blog and take my fabulous advice! I wonder if any of them Googles themselves. If they do, maybe they’ll find this…