SPOILER ALERT – Lost Season 6 “The End”

I apologize for the delay in posting this and the preceding two postings, but I haven’t been feeling well. The following was written on the night of the Lost finale (May 23, 2010) and in the days subsequent to it.

These are thoughts I’m having after the final episode of Lost, "The End," was over. See this blog posting for the thoughts I had during the episode, and this one for the thoughts I had during the retrospective before the final episode, “The Final Journey.”

Confirmed, Disconfirmed, and Non-Existent Predictions

Woohoo!!!!! I was finally proven right!!!!! When all hope was lost, I clung to some hope anyway, and I was right! I go girl! I am awesome, and you are more awesome for reading my blog and my correct predictions!!!!!!

Yes, Hurley finally became the new Jacob, or, more accurately, the new New Jacob! Jack, the first New Jacob, ordained Hurley as the new New Jacob before Jack sacrificed himself for the Island, his friends, and the world by fulfilling his life’s purpose of re-kindling the Light. While I didn’t predict that Jack would be an intermediary Jacob, I did have Jack as my back-up prediction, and I did recognize that both Jack and Hurley possessed the most Jacobliness, experienced the most personal growth, and seemed to have the most favor in Jacob’s eyes. In addition to the Hurley-is-the-new-Jacob portion of my prediction, I had also predicted that the Flash-Sideways was a creation of Hurley where he and his friends could live the happy fulfilling lives they were meant to live. I was almost correct, since Christian Shephard explains that the Flash-Sideways is an afterlife created by all of the Lost people in it such that they would be able to find each other. Personally, I believe that Hurley probably guided their efforts to create that afterlife, and since he was the new New Jacob, it is certainly possible.

I was completely and utterly wrong about what I insisted on calling the New Reality. It isn’t reality at all, which is why I will now give in and call it the Flash-Sideways like the rest of the world. The possibility that it wasn’t real, that it was an afterlife, never crossed my mind. As I’ve mentioned before, I would have felt that the island being Hell or an afterlife would be a huge cop-out, and that is why I refused to believe such a thing; perhaps that is also why it never crossed my mind that the Flash-Sideways might be an afterlife. Except that wasn’t a cop-out at all. It would have been so nice if it were real, and I think my hope that it was real was too strong to allow me to see any other possibilities. Also, I’m probably just not the world’s best Lost predictor, although you have to admit, I’m not too shabby.

I was right about there being a big Jack v. Fake Locke argument about Fate v. Coincidence, except in the more specific form of Everything Matters v. Nothing Matters. Obviously the argument was reversed, in that Jack has learned from Real John Locke (and from his experiences and ruminations and so forth) to be on the side of fate, and everything mattering, while Fake John Locke/The Smoke Monster/Man in Black was on the side of coincidence and nothing mattering. It’s possible that Fake Locke was only saying the things he said to screw with Jack, since he knew that could have been Jack’s weakness, if Jack wasn’t so strong and hot. I suppose his hotness probably has nothing to do with it though.

Plot

The short version of my analysis of what happened is pretty much what they told us happened. The island was real life, the New Reality/Flash-Sideways was not real, and was some kind of Heaven-like afterlife, or maybe a pre-Heaven thing, since they were all planning to move on when they were ready. Matthew Fox explained on Jimmy Kimmel’s Aloha to Lost that there is a religion where they believe that when you die, you don’t move on until you remember your death, how you died, and everyone involved. It seems our characters had to remember their life on the island in order to be ready to move on. Perhaps they also needed to accept certain things about themselves, and to let go. For example, Ben probably needed to work through and let go of his sins before he would be ready. It’s interesting that the Island was their true life, sine so many people, including myself at one point, thought the Island could be the afterlife, or even Hell.

The most important part of their lives was on the island, as Dead Christian Shephard explained to his dead son Jack, and so they somehow made sure they would be able to find each other there in the afterlife. They are all dead, but as Christian implied, they did not all die young, and we can assume that many of them lived long lives. I would imagine that Hurley and Ben probably lived the longest, since Hurley is the new Jacob and he appointed Ben as his Richard (i.e. as his guide, his number 2).

The man who plays Michael (Harold Perrineau) explained on Jimmy Kimmel that Michael will remain on the island, perhaps forever. I imagine that is because of evil things he did. Of course Ben did a lot more things that were horribly evil, yet he is in the pleasant afterlife and allowed to move on when he is ready (presumably), though it is taking a longer time for him to get there than the less evil people. I imagine Ben is not destined to be a ghost on the island because he redeemed himself – he turned good via his emotional breakthrough, and while he strayed briefly for the sake of survival, he came back to the side of Good, ultimately becoming the second in command, the advisor, the Richard to the good and pure Hurley.

I think Eloise Widmore/Hawking might have been ready to move on, but I don’t believe Charles Widmore or their son, Daniel Widmore/Faraday, were ready. I imagine this is why Eloise did not want Desmond to take her son with him; she wanted to keep her family together, because they belong together, just as our other characters belong together.


We now have confirmation of whether Charles Widmore is good or evil. Similar to Ben, he was evil, often for the sake of the Island and Jacob, but turned good, with the help of Jacob. Widmore had said that Jacob had visited him and convinced him to change his evil ways. I wasn’t sure I believed him at the time, but I do now. It makes sense, since he seemed to know things that Jacob would have told him, as did Eloise Hawking, whom Jacob probably also visited. There is now unquestionable evidence that Widmore is Good; he was in the same place as the rest of our Good characters, and was not left to be a ghost on the Island, as evil people are. Similar to Ben, he and perhaps Eloise were not ready to move on, perhaps because they still had to work through all the evil things they did before turning Good.


I have one problem with Lost (right now, maybe I’ll think of more later). Why didn’t Desmond or Jack turn into Smoke Monsters? Previous Jacob Lady told Jacob that if he ever went into the Light, he would suffer a fate worse than death, and when Jacob threw Man in Black into the Light, he turned into the Smoke Monster, demonstrating what Previous Jacob Lady meant. I understand why Desmond didn’t turn to smoke, since he is not immortal or divine, and therefore, it is not unreasonable to assume that different rules might apply. I suppose Jack didn’t turn to smoke because he was turning the Light back on and was therefore not going toward it, but was rather going away from it. I guess I cleared that smoke up for myself. Hahahahahaha! I made a pun!

The Island is under water in the Flash-Sideways, but they are in some kind of afterlife. This could mean that it’s so far into the future that the Island has sunken some time after Hurley’s time as Jacob. This is possible, since Christian Shephard explained that time does not exist there. Alternatively, and this is the way I’m leaning, since this afterlife is a better version of their lives, as the producers said in “The Final Journey” and I suggested early in the season, in this life, the Island and Jacob are not exerting their effects on our characters. It wasn’t the Island that made their time on the island the greatest time of their lives, it was the people, and that is why they created that Heaven such that they could find each other again.


Purgatory

Jimmy Kimmel and some people on Myface (Facebook) have concluded that the Island was some kind of Purgatory. I personally don’t believe this, and there is evidence against it. In the Flash-Sideways, when each character peacefully and happily realized they were dead and accepted it with tremendous peace, they had memories of the Island – their lives flashed before their eyes. Why would such a critical moment come with memories of time spent in Purgatory rather than memories from the greatest part of a person’s life, particularly when this is all happening in a fictional drama show on the TV? Of course, the Island is bizarre, and crazy, supernatural things happen there, but this is fiction, and it was presented in a way that allowed for very comfortable suspended disbelief, at least in my opinion.

The Flash-Sideways might be some kind of purgatory, as a friend (and probably others) have suggested. I don’t believe it is Purgatory in what I understand to be the traditional sense. It was not a place of suffering, or a quasi-Hell, or soul purification, but it might be a place where people work out their issues – some sins, some just issues – and eventually accept and let go of whatever is necessary. For John Locke, he needed to let go of the sense that he needed to punish himself, and he needed to accept his disability so he could be freed from both. Jack needed to accept his father’s death and thereby let go of his father. Additionally, Jack also had to accept his father’s life, in that he had to accept the kind of person and father Christian Shephard was; that is why Jack has a son in the Flash-Sideways. Sayid needed to let go of the sense that he was evil, and needed to accept that he is good. Ben still needs to work through his many sins, since, like Sayid, he is also good, and he proved that in his life, just as Sayid proved he was still good when he (Sayid) sacrificed himself to save his friends. These are but a few examples; for each character, there was something to be accepted, something to work through, something to let go of; perhaps someday I will discuss more of them (but don't hold your breath). Once they were able to let go, when they were ready, they could leave; they could move on, perhaps to Heaven, perhaps to another part of Heaven, perhaps towards Nirvana. Regardless of what you believe, they moved on to something greater.

The Death of Jack

A friend suggested that Jack might have been the last to die, since he was the last to have his memories re-ignited. That got me thinking, when he died after climbing out of the Light, an eternity could have passed since Jack as the previous New Jacob might have become immortal or quasi-immortal. Since Rose and Bernard’s doggie was with him as he died, did Fake John Locke give our kind couple and their dog immortality when he promised Desmond they would never be hurt? If so, that’s nice of him, and provides further evidence that despite his intensely evil ways, Fake Locke/The Smoke Monster/Man in Black did have some glimmer of Good left in him Whether or not they were given quasi-immortality, Rose and Bernard did die eventually, since they were in the Flash-Sideways.

I think there is evidence that Jack died soon after Hurley’s Jacobification. As Jack lay dying, he saw the plane overhead flying away; this was probably the plane carrying his friends, and so Jack knew that they made it off the island. It is possible, however, that it was another plane, far in the future, since Ben pointed out to Hurley that Jacob’s rules of no one coming or going from the Island could be changed.

Jack died knowing that his death had purpose; he knew that the Island was saved and would be safe from the now dead Smoke Monster, and he knew that his friends had escaped the island. Fake John Locke/The Smoke Monster’s attempt to make Jack believe that he would die for nothing failed epically (I can’t believe I just said that hahahahaha…Epic fail).

I believe Jack took the longest to accept that he is dead because it took the longest for him to let go and have the emotional experience that would bring on the memories. As Locke had told him, Jack had to let go of his father, to accept his father’s death, and to accept his father for everything that he was and wasn’t. That was why Jack was a father in the Flash-Sideways, so he could experience what his father might have gone through – so that he might understand his father better. Jack never got closure for his father’s death; I don’t believe he ever did in his life, and he didn’t get a chance to have a funeral for him until the lost coffin was found and delivered in the Flash-Sideways. In his life, Jack was, in fact, plagued by his father appearing to be alive after he died via The Smoke Monster’s use of his corpse. In the Flash-Sideways, Jack finally had a chance to gain the closure he needed, and so when he touched the coffin, the memories from his life were finally ignited. He once again saw his father appearing to be alive, and his father could explain all that was happening. Jack was finally able to let go.

The Death of the Smoke Monster and the Life of Richard

It was interesting to see that the Light might have been holding Fake John Locke on the Island, and it was almost certainly the force that kept him indestructible. Only after the Light was extinguished could Kate’s Jack-saving bullet affect him, and only then could Jack kill the Smoke Monster. Therefore, I imagine the Light was also the mechanism by which Jacob’s gift of immortality worked on Richard; when it was extinguished, Richard began to age, and with the prospect of dying someday, he could finally enjoy the life he had left.

Conclusion (Because I’m not creative enough to come up with a better title for this concluding section)

I really did love this episode. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it. It truly was satisfying, and, despite the many tears that flowed and despite the deathly ending, it was a happy ending. As a friend pointed out (yes, this friend is the one I keep mentioning in this posting), this episode provided much-needed closure, both for the characters, and for the show. They were all dead, but many of them probably led long lives. They might not have experienced all the happy things they should have in their lives, but they got to experience those things in an afterlife. They were all together, as they were supposed to be – as they were destined to be. Jacob selected them because they were alone like he was, but, thanks to Jacob, they weren’t alone anymore.

SPOILER ALERT – Lost Season 6 “Ab Aeterno”

WARNING: This blog posting contains mildly explicit language. Viewer discretion is advised.

OMG! OMG! OMG! I was right! “I am smart! I am smart! S-m-r-t! I mean s-m-A-r-t!”

I quote the great Homer Simpson because I was pretty much right about something huge! It’s rare that I display smartness, so I must gloat on these rare occasions.

Are you dying to know what I was right about? Well, if you read my blog and have seen this week’s episode of Lost, “Ab Aeterno,” where so many Lost questions were answered, then you would surely know.

As I postulated in a previous blog posting, Jacob’s job is to contain Evil on the Island in order to keep Evil from overtaking the Earth. This is why Man-in-Black (I gave up on calling him Guy-in-Black)/The Smoke Monster/Fake John Locke feels trapped and wants to escape; he is Evil, and he wants to escape so he and his evilness may roam free through the world, and as Isabella tells Hurley, all the world will be in Hell. Please note that I referred to this as “The Darkness” in that blog posting, as Jacob called it “The Darkness” in this episode. How awesome am I? How awesome are you for reading my blog? Very, on both counts. Very indeed.

I will provide more brilliant insights and predictions in the present blog posting. I am not conceited.

Some Background

First and foremost, if you don’t speak Latin or if you haven’t yet googled, “Ab Aeterno” (the episode’s title) means “From Eternity.” Obviously, it’s a reference to Richard’s immortality, as well as a reference to the Jacob v. Man in Black feud.

This episode answered questions Lost fans have been wondering about for an eternity, particularly questions about the oh-so-mysterious Richard Alpert. In April of 2009, I wrote an email to my Lost-pushing sister about Richard Alpert. You’ll see that I was quite insightful, and quite wrong in one respect, though I brilliantly and insightfully corrected myself. I’m so flippin’ smart.

I read Wikipedia's thing on Richard Alpert (the Lost character). It explains, "he plays a role in the group's hierarchy that has been compared to that of the Panchen Lama in Buddhism by the series' producers.” Clicking on that word reveals that that role is the second highest in Buddhism, just under Dalai Lama. This makes sense, since it seems that someone else is always the leader, like Ben, Charles Widmore, and it seems John Locke is supposed to be next. The first link says that Jacob is the leader of the Others, so maybe that's who Richard is really second to. Maybe Jacob is G-d (I just thought of that now). Jacob means “supplanter,” and Biblical Jacob was the one who fought G-d, and was then given the name Israel by G-d, which means "one who has been strong against G-d."

Getting back to Richard Alpert, the article mentions the person he was named after of the same name. The real Richard Alpert was a spiritual guy in the 1960s and 70s who had some association with a Hindu spiritual leader.

Wow, I’m smarter than I realized. I had forgotten about Biblical Jacob’s interactions with G-d because I was so focused on the Biblical Jacob v. Esau thing. Perhaps my earlier suggestion that Man in Black/The Smoke Monster was a divine leader before Jacob usurped him might in fact be accurate. The question is, then, is it a battle between Good and Evil, or is it a battle between two divine entities who simply have differing worldviews and differing views of human nature.

Evil from Within Lost

This episode was exhausting to watch, largely because of all the crazy drama and Lostiness, but also because I was rather distraught to discover that the producers of Lost blatantly lied to us. They very clearly stated on Jimmy Kimmel Live that Fake John Locke is not the Man in Black, but he is the Smoke Monster. “Ab Aeterno” clearly shows us what I believed whole-heartedly to be true before those evil producers lied to me – that The Man in Black is indeed The Smoke Monster, and since Fake John Locke is also The Smoke Monster, it follows that Fake John Locke is The Man in Black. Why did you lie to us, Lost Producers, why?! Maybe there will be a twist and they will have not been lying all along. Perhaps Man in Black is lying and is not The Smoke Monster. After all, he is an evil bastard, he would lie. Continue reading for more evidence that Fake John Locke is not Man in Black/The Smoke Monster in the section below entitled “Man in Black.”

Identifying Jacob

Jacob is good. I’m maintaining a tiny little bit of doubt just in case they’re still screwing with us, but I think it’s pretty clear at this point. Jacob might be G-d, or he might be some alternate form of G-d – a divine power. It seems like Jacob doesn’t view the words “Hell” or “Devil” as defining Evil, so perhaps he doesn’t view G-d as defining Good. It seems like Jacob views things in terms of Good and Evil in a broader sense that probably encapsulates the Good- and Evil-related beliefs of all the world’s cultures, rather than being restricted to the Christian view of things. I surmised all this from Jacob’s reference to “what [Richard/Ricardo] call[s] Hell.” Additionally, Dogen had also referred to Fake John Locke/The Smoke Monster/Man in Black as “evil incarnate” rather than calling him the Devil, so it seems that Jacob and his followers probably do not subscribe to any particular religious belief. Man in Black/The Smoke Monster blatantly claimed that Jacob is the Devil, although he did leave that to Richard’s assumptions regarding The Smoke Monster. He also blatantly told Richard he is dead and in Hell. Man in Black’s blatant Devil and Hell-centric claims further demonstrates Man in Black’s willingness to tell people exactly what they want to hear in order to get what he wants.

Jacob’s purpose has become clear. He or whoever holds his position exists to contain and detain Evil on the Island, to protect the Island from Evil, and therefore, to protect the world from Evil. Logically, then, Jacob is the Protector, not just of the Island as I suggested previously, but of the Universe. Jacob is G-d or some other form of Divinity representing Good, defined by some religions as G-d. Jacob represents Free Will; he believes people can and should make their own choices, and he believes he should not make those choices for people, even if people choose Evil. Jacob believes and hopes that people will ultimately choose Good over Evil. Jacob guides people, he helps them, he leads them, but he does not choose for them. Jacob hires Richard to guide people towards Good rather than Evil in ways that might be more direct than Jacob is willing to do himself. Jacob does not want to interfere with people’s choices.

Perhaps what Jacob intends and what Jacob does do not align perfectly. He does not intend to interfere with people’s decisions, yet it’s possible that he might have had profound effects on our special character’s lives, possibly in the new reality (flash-sideways) and without a doubt in the reality we are familiar with. Jacob brings people to the Island, and he touches people, providing them with special gifts; these things interfere in their decisions. These things might even force them to make particular decisions.

In my first Lost-related blog posting, I suggested that Jacob and Man in Black might both be evil forces, playing a game with people’s lives just for the sake of playing a game. Jacob provided evidence for this when he explained that he brings people to the Island to prove that people can choose Good over Evil. This is a subtle admission that he is playing with and interfering with people’s lives just to prove a point to a Man in Black, or to prove the point to himself. Jacob brings people to the Island where Evil lives to see if they will fall to Evil temptation. That seems rather evil of Jacob, though his intentions might be Good, and though he might otherwise be Good. Even Divine Good can be flawed.

In light of Jacob’s reason for bringing people to the Island, it’s interesting to think about and see how our special characters as well as our less special characters have faired in the face of Evil temptations. Most of our characters (such as Jack, Hurley, Sun, Jin, and Lapidus) have remained on the side of Good. Some characters have fallen to follow Evil (Fake John Locke/The Smoke Monster/Man in Black), either by choice (Claire and Sayid, sort of), by accident (Kate), or in a possibly hopeless and/or misguided attempt to con the Devil himself (Sawyer). Ben, a man who’s lived much of his life committing evil acts in the name of Good, came close to turning fully to Evil for power and acceptance, but Good (via Ilana) accepted him. One character almost fell to Evil from desperation and a sense of lost purpose (Richard), but was drawn back by the inherently Good Hurley.

While there is a plethora of evidence that Jacob is G-d or some other form of Divine Goodness, there is at least one piece of evidence that he might not be G-d. When Jacob and Ricardo/Richard were making their deal, Jacob informed Ricardo/Richard that he could not grant him absolution for his sins. If I understand the monotheistic religions’ views correctly, G-d is capable of providing absolution, either directly, such as in Judaism and possibly Islam (I don’t know very much about the latter), where one will never know if G-d has granted forgiveness, or indirectly, such as in Christianity, where a Priest can speak on behalf of G-d and grant forgiveness. I don’t know much about Buddhism, Hinduism, or other religions, but it seems they all have similar concepts of a Divine entity granting forgiveness. Therefore, if Jacob could not grant absolution for Richard’s sins, does that indicate that he is not divine? Perhaps, or perhaps it simply indicates that Jacob did not believe Richard was deserving of absolution, perhaps due to the nature of his murderous sin, or perhaps because Richard, who insisted the murder he committed was an accident, did not take full responsibility for his actions, and perhaps lacked sufficient remorse. Perhaps this is also why Richard is not a candidate. The six remaining candidates have also sinned I’m sure, but even Sayid, who arguably has sinned the most, took full responsibility for all the torturing he’s done, and clearly has tremendous remorse for it. Perhaps Jacob, as a Divine entity, feels that repentance is more than asking for absolution.

Worst Episode Ever, or Not

In the beginning of the episode, when Richard said they are dead and in Hell, and then again when Man in Black said the same thing to Ricardo/Richard, I was very tempted to write my blog in three words: “Worst episode ever.” Fortunately, Jacob saved me from having to make such a proclamation, proving to Richard that he (Richard) is alive (unless that was an evil illusion, so sneakily evil that only the Devil could pull it off). It would be tremendously unsatisfying if it turned out that the island was Hell and everyone was dead all along. Sure, it would be an interesting view of Hell, and in that sense, it would be far from unsatisfying. Um, so, I guess “unsatisfying” wasn’t the right word. Unsettling – it would be tremendously unsettling. It would also, for some reason, bring to mind the Robin Williams movie that I like a lot, What Dreams May Come. Anyway, since I’m going to assume they’re not in Hell, this was a great episode.

Mea Culpa (Latin for “My Bad”)

While I was right about some things, other people were wrong about some other things, and I propagated these falsehoods in a previous blog posting. Richard did not come to the island from England on his way to Australia, he came to the Island from the Canary Islands on his way to America, but it is true that he was a convict. We learn in this episode that he had been sold into slavery to avoid being hanged for murdering a man in hopes of saving his wife. If I’m remembering correctly, it was also suggested that the Others’ ancestors came to the island with Richard, but it looks like they came later somehow. Perhaps they came from England and perhaps they were also convicts. Who knows.

Evil Possibilities

I wondered previously if Richard had sold his soul to Jacob to obtain his gift of immortality and not aging. It appears that he did not sell his soul, though he did agree to do something for Jacob in return for it. One could argue that that is a form of soul selling; after all, he gets to live forever without aging, but it looks like he must live on the island for eternity as Jacob’s liaison. However, this deal was in no way obscured – it was clearly laid out, and Jacob’s proposition that Richard be his liaison initiated it, rather than Richard’s desires for immortality. It was a friendly exchange, where Jacob was providing payment in the form of a gift in return for Richard’s service. Furthermore, Richard’s new job involved helping people to choose good over evil, an inherently non-evil endeavor. A Devil’s advocate might suggest however that perhaps Jacob sneakily led Richard into a trap; that Richard did sell his soul to Jacob without even knowing it. Yes, I know, this is very unlikely, and as I said, that is only what a Devil’s advocate would say. Puns are fun.

While I don’t want them to be in Hell, there is some evidence that they are. Isabella (Ricardo/Richard’s wife) was on the island with Richard before The Smoke Monster killed her or consumed her soul or did whatever it is he does to people. If she is not dead and in Hell, how did she get onto the island? Perhaps the priest snuck her onto the Black Rock.

Man in Black

Man in Black and Fake John Locke both complain about Jacob trapping him and holding him captive on the island, and both mention having been a regular person before. Fake John Locke gave us insight into the life he led as a regular person when he told Kate in “Recon” that he had a crazy mother. As I’ve suggested before, perhaps Man in Black/Fake John Locke/The Smoke Monster isn’t evil; perhaps he was wrongly captured and detained. Of course the evidence for his evilness ha been illuminated rather thoroughly, what with all the killing and so forth, but perhaps he didn’t start out being evil – perhaps he was driven to evil by being held captive for so long. Alternatively, maybe, like Lucifer, he fell from grace and became evil via his own choosing. If that is the case, it is rather interesting that he believes people are destined to choose evil, the very thing Jacob has been trying so hard to disprove.

I find it strange that Richard didn’t recognize Fake John Locke as Man in Black. Fake John Locke speaks and acts very much like Man in Black, with very similar intonational patterns and mannerisms. I wonder if Richard’s lack of recognition might in fact be evidence against Fake John Locke being Man in Black. Maybe those Lost producers aren’t evil liars after all.

This episode delineated more similarities between Jacob and Man in Black/The Smoke Monster/Fake John Locke. Man in Black told Richard to kill Jacob in the same way that Dogen told Sayid to kill Fake John Locke. When Sayid did as he was told, Fake John Locke was unaffected and definitely not (re-)killed. Was this a result of Sayid’s new infection? Are Jacob and Man in Black different kinds of beings? Does this provide another piece of evidence that Fake John Locke/The Smoke Monster is not Man in Black after all? Perhaps if Fake John Locke really was the Man in Black, perhaps Sayid’s murdering of him would have been successful.

Both Sayid and Richard were told to kill Fake John Locke and Jacob before the respective entity spoke, for if he spoke, it would be too late. I imagine this not speaking clause might result from both of their abilities to talk people into and out of things, perhaps in a manipulative, Devilish way. This suggests that both Fake John Locke and whoever he represents, as well as Jacob might be evil – or it suggests that Dogen and Man in Black perceive Fake John Locke and Jacob respectively as Evil.

My Brilliant Prediction

I believe that Hurley will be the candidate to take over the role of Jacob. As I mentioned before, his last name, Reyes, means Kings, suggesting that he is destined to be King of the Universe. I have also discussed his genuine kindness, and other Good qualities. He genuinely wants to help his fellow man, and would do no harm. Speaking of doing no harm, I believe that if Hurley is not going to be the new Jacob, then Jack will be (he’s a doctor, so he took that do-no-harm oath, hence my segue). Jack Shephard, a born leader, is also genuinely kind and also has lots of Good qualities (well, all the candidates do), and Jacob made a point to protect Jack and Hurley in “Lighthouse.”

Anyhoo, getting back to Hurley, I further believe that he has already taken over the role of Jacob in the new reality/flash sideways. Everyone’s lives have improved in that new reality, and I can’t help but think Hurley has more to do with that then simply hiring a bunch of his friends in another reality. Perhaps Hurley is re-writing their lives so that they can be improved, as he attempted to rewrite Star Wars, so that it might be improved, when he was transported to the 1970s. Perhaps they were foreshadowing his Jacobian take-over.

It’s possible that I’m wrong, of course, and one piece of evidence for my potential wrongness is Hurley’s presence, presumably as a mortal, in the new reality. It could be that whoever takes the Jacob role wouldn’t have a mortal life anymore, but then again, perhaps he or she can. Perhaps, in a Christ-like way (let’s pretend we’re all Christian for a second), the new Jacob could exist both as a divine being on the island as well as a mortal being in LA. If, however, this is not the case, and if I am correct in my prediction that the new reality/flash-sideways is the result of the new Jacob, then the new Jacob must be someone who we have not seen in the new reality. However, I believe we have seen all the six non-crossed-off candidates in the new reality. Therefore, my assumption that the new Jacob can exist, whether mortal or not, off the island is very likely accurate. Of course we know that Jacob could leave the island; I wonder if he still existed on the island when he left, or if he simply sojourned off the island. Anyway, my point is, I don’t believe that Hurley’s presence in the new reality is evidence against my prediction that he is the new Jacob, and that the new reality is what Hurley as the new Jacob has woven.

We shall wait and see if more of my predictions end up being correct. It’s fun to be right about stuff, but it should be noted that it’s easier to be right when one suggests every possibility one can think of, thereby increasing the chances of accuracy for at least one of those possibilities. See, I told you I’m not conceited.

SPOILER ALERT – Lost Season 6 “Dr. Linus”

Best episode EVER!

But I knew it would be, based on the title of the Lost episode ("Dr. Linus”) coupled with the things Michael Emerson (the man who plays Ben Linus) said on Jimmy Kimmel Live a few weeks ago. He had said what happens with Ben is very satisfying, and it sure was. I love Ben. I also love Michael Emerson; he is an amazing actor. He should win some more Emmys.

Michael Emerson also said in that Kimmel interview that he was a comic actor prior to Lost. That seems about right; there’s something comedic about Ben in a strange sort of way. I don’t mean that he’s funny, exactly – I’m not really sure what I mean. Ben shares something with the creepy or otherwise dramatic characters that Robin Williams has portrayed. It’s a certain level and depth of character that perhaps only a brilliant actor with comedic talents and comedic instincts can capture. I don’t know if any of this makes sense, but that’s ok – after all, these are the quasi-incoherent thoughts of a Yels (get it, that’s my blog description; look up).

Anyhoo, getting back to this magnificent episode, it was quite the rollercoaster of emotions, between the Richard-Jack-Hurley saga worrying about Kate, Sayid, Sawyer, Jin, and anyone else I’m forgetting, wondering whether Widmore’s presence at the end of the episode will be for good or evil, and of course the Ben saga. I was literally on the edge of my seat, hoping and even praying that Dr. Ben in the new reality (flash-sideways) wouldn’t sell out Alex for his own power as he did in the reality we are familiar with. When he faked us out and it looked like he had fallen into his evil ways, I thought to myself (I didn’t yell out this time), “Noooooooooooo!” Needless to say, I was filled with joyous relief when he hadn’t sold her out at all. In fact, he managed to maintain the good in his heart and actions, while still gaining just enough power from the immoral principal to gain respect and his history club, allowing him to help the children. He even went further to sacrifice his parking space just for the sake of keeping his word and helping a friend, which was so very Hurley of him. It’s clear that Ben’s life in the new reality is vastly better than it was in the reality we are familiar with, despite Ben and his father’s sadness and regret for the “better” life he could have had if they had stayed on the island.

As I watched Ben with his father, I couldn’t help but wonder if his father in the new reality was the abusive man he was in the reality we are familiar with. They confirmed somewhat (though not entirely) surprisingly that Ben’s father did work for the Dharma Initiative and they did live on the island in the new reality. It would seem that everything that happened before Juliet detonated the hydrogen bomb would have still happened the same way. However, it is possible, and I believe there’s been evidence for this (such as Jack’s childhood appendectomy that he didn’t remember in the new reality), that everything changed, even before the bomb. This seems plausible since our special characters were traveling through time in the reality we are familiar with; they would not have traveled through time in the new reality, so the things they affected wouldn’t have happened in the past, before their plane didn’t crash. Alternatively, if nothing did change before the bomb, it would suggest that Ben’s father must have been reunited with Young Ben after Young Ben was taken to the Others; if I’m remembering correctly, Sayid shot Young Ben and Kate took him to the Others before the bomb. As I write that, it seems like it just doesn’t make sense, because the new reality could not have gone on from there, because the time travel would not have happened…but if the time travel didn’t happen, then Juliet wouldn’t have detonated the bomb...This is all very confusing. The question is, did the bomb reset all of history, or was its effects restricted to the things that happened in linear time after the bomb was detonated?

“Dr. Linus” encapsulates the warm fluffiness I alluded to in a previous blog posting. Portions of it were painful to watch and feel, but there was tremendous satisfaction in the results and the progress. Ben took full responsibility for his actions and felt real remorse for the things he’s done. We had seen this begin to happen when they buried Real John Locke, but it was completed in this episode. He recognized that Alex was killed because of his desire for power, and he recognized that he killed Jacob because he felt that Jacob had forsaken him. It broke my heart when he said he wanted to go with Fake John Locke/The Smoke Monster because he’s the only one who would have him, and not because of the power that Fake John Locke promised. I’m glad Ilana gave Ben the acceptance he needed.

Until that powerful breakthrough, Ben was driven by his insatiable hunger for power. Shortly before his emotional breakthrough, he remembered his life prior to the Oceanic 815 crash with yearning and nostalgia; it was a time when he ruled the island – when he had almost unquestioned power. In the new reality, Dr. Linus told his history students about Napoleon’s loss of power, explaining that for Napoleon, power loss was tantamount to death – without his power, he was nothing. In the reality we’re familiar with, Ben was almost Napoleonic (“almost” because he clearly did not want to die) in that sense. However, his need for power vanished as the emotions poured forth from him, and in the new reality, he did not succumb to powerful temptations. Ben was not destined to be consumed by his desire for power. Miles said that Jacob hoped Ben had changed until the moment Ben killed him; Jacob’s hope became reality.

It’s interesting to note the differences between Ben’s and Sayid’s battles between good and evil within themselves. In the reality we’re familiar with, Sayid spent much of his adult life trying to prove to himself that he is good, but in the end, evil overtook him; Ben spent his adult life behaving in evil and self-serving, power-hungry ways for what he believed was a greater good (it probably still is a greater good), but was overtaken by good in the end, despite Fake John Locke’s offer of power. In the new reality, Sayid cannot accept that he is good, as evidenced by his belief that he doesn’t deserve Nadia; in the new reality, Ben is good, and he proves that even when Real, New-Reality John Locke gives him a nudge to be self-serving and power-hungry. In so many ways, the new reality parallels the old one, as if by fate.

Speaking of fate, Jack seems to be accepting his fate (as well as embracing his faith), as Jacob said he would. He realized his presence on the island has a special purpose, and, in his usual shepherdly/Shephardly way, seems to be taking the leadership role, as he begins to lead Richard. Jack and Richard now share a bond; each believed their lives no longer had purpose, and each wanted their life to end because of that sense of lost purpose. For each, that sense of purpose along with the desire to live was restored, perhaps by the island, and perhaps by Jacob.

Richard explained what all Jacob’s touching means – Jacob’s touch is a gift of specialness. That sounds inappropriate hahahaha. For Richard, that specialness means not aging and what appears to be immortality and indestructibility, but we don’t know if it means exactly the same thing for each person, though that is possible. We still don’t know if Jacob touched our special characters in the new reality, and we therefore still don’t know if it matters. Thus far, it seems everyone’s lives are slightly or significantly better in the new reality than they are in the reality we are familiar with, but several things remain consistent – and therefore potentially fate-driven – between the two realities.

While it continues to be very likely that Jacob is or represents G-d or some other divine force or being, there is evidence that Jacob might be evil. Fake John Locke/The Smoke Monster is more blatant about offering evil temptations and making devilish deals involving souls, but Jacob does it too. We learned in “Sundown” that Dogen sold his soul to Jacob; he agreed to spend his (eternal?) life protecting the Temple on the island so his son could live.

If Jacob is G-d or otherwise divine, perhaps the evil that happens under his rule is similar to that which happens outside Lost. Perhaps the island is a representation of our real-life world, where people act in service to G-d in ways they believe to be good and right, but with consequences that at times are not. Ben, like Abraham, was willing to sacrifice his child in the name of a divine being – for Abraham it was G-d, for Ben it was Jacob and the island. Abraham didn’t do it in the end, but Ben did. What if Abraham had sacrificed Isaac in the name of G-d? Perhaps he would have followed the path of Ben – perhaps he would have felt forsaken by a G-d who would let him murder his own child. Perhaps he would have killed – or denounced – G-d, and perhaps the Jewish (and therefore Christian and Muslim) religion would not have been, for G-d would have been viewed as evil. Except G-d and Jacob didn’t kill anyone in this scenario and on Lost; Abraham would have, and Ben did – they would have and did (respectively) attribute the murder to divine purpose, but their purpose would have been Abraham’s and was Ben’s. People wage wars in the name of G-d; people do evil things in the name of G-d. As Jacob makes very clear, people have free will, and bad things happen under G-d’s and Jacob’s watch. However, that doesn’t mean that G-d and Jacob aren’t good. People simply take things too far, and, at times, perhaps cross that thin line between good and evil.

SPOILER ALERT – Lost Season 6 “The Substitute”

As is so often the case with Lost, “The Substitute” provoked some thinkings.

The Reality We are Familiar with

As I watched Fake John Locke/The Smoke Monster attempting to tempt Richard and successfully tempting Sawyer, I exclaimed (out loud of course) at the TV, “You’re the devil!” and then I laughed. I sounded just like Mike Myers as Philip the Hyper-Hypo on SNL, when Nicole Kidman’s character (Grace?) tempted him with a Hershey bar.

The point is I think “The Substitute” provides more evidence that Fake John Locke/The Smoke Monster is Satan (or Lucifer, or the Devil, assuming those aren’t all the same guy), and therefore, so is The Man in Black (Guy-in-Black, whatever), since I am still convinced that The Smoke Monster and Man in Black are somehow related.

Fake John Locke’s successful tempting of Sawyer into going with him to the cave and (presumably) leaving the island to “go home” brought to light a couple of alternatives or variations on the Jacob v. Guy-in-Black Dichotomies I spoke of in a previous blog posting, as well as some more evidence for a couple of the dichotomies I discussed there. It also brought to light evidence against one of my posited dichotomies, where I suggest that Jacob is the Protector of the People and Guy-in-Black is the Protector of the Island; I don’t believe that is likely anymore, since Fake John Locke claims that Jacob was the Protector of the Island, though anything is still possible.

There are two pieces of evidence for what I said before. First, Fake John Locke throws a white stone into the ocean that had been on a scale with a black stone, explaining it was an inside joke. Clearly, that inside joke referred to Jacob v. Guy-in-Black, regardless of what they represent, and Guy-in-Black’s indirect murdering and eliminating of Jacob. Obviously, that is the classic Black is Evil and White is Good…But then again, is that really so black and white? The other piece of evidence for things I’ve said came in the form of Guy-in-Black's statements suggesting that Jacob falsely makes people think they have a choice when the “reality” is they don’t. Thus, he emphasized the dichotomy I posited, Free Will (Jacob) v. Destiny (Guy-in-Black).

The first alteration or variation on dichotomies I suggested previously is:

Master, Evil, or possibly but doubtfully Good (Jacob) v. Some kind of enslaved being, therefore, either Good, Misunderstood, or Evil (Guy-in-Black via The Smoke Monster). If this is the case, Guy-in-Black and The Smoke Monster are trapped on the island, enslaved, or somehow held captive by Jacob or whomever the Master, or “Protector of the Island,” is (assuming Fake John Locke was being truthful in his explanation of our special characters being candidates to take over the Jacob job). To accept this possibility, we would have to take Fake John Locke’s statements at face value; we would have to trust Fake John Locke. Given my exclamations of “You’re the Devil!” regarding Fake John Locke, I have trouble doing that. However, the possibility remains, and if it is the case, then the poor Smoke Monster and Guy-in-Black just want to escape from that crazy island.

The other variation on the dichotomies I spoke of is:

Protector of the Island, or maybe still G-d, Good (Jacob) v. Dude who wants to usurp Jacob’s position by indirectly killing Jacob and driving away the candidates, Evil (Guy-in-Black via The Smoke Monster). Personally, I think this makes the most sense and while I’m no expert in Satany things, I imagine Satan probably wants to rule the world too, so Fake John Locke’s devilishness fits well with this. That is, assuming he really is being deceitful and devilishly tempting, as opposed to simply looking at things in different ways, being misunderstood, and having good intentions.

Speaking of evil people, how much did you want to hug Ben at Real John Locke’s funeral? Poor Creepy Ben, (possibly) feeling remorse for Real John Locke’s murder, maybe also for Jacob’s murder, and more importantly, for finally being able to verbalize his jealousy of John Locke in a more mature way, as we see when Ben eulogizes Real John Locke (“John Locke was a believer, he was a man of faith, a much better man than I will ever be. And I'm very sorry that I murdered him.”). Even though I wanted to hug him, he masterfully maintained his magnificent creepiness even there, which is not surprising, since Ben’s creepiness is only rivaled by (SPOILER ALERT – HOUSE M.D. SEASON 5) Creepy-Hallucination Amber in House M.D. Yeah, Ben is fabulously creeptastic; I love it.

New Reality

In a previous blog posting, I wondered whether the lives of our special characters are better, worse, or the same in the new reality compared to the reality we’re familiar with. “The Substitute” shows us (or begins to show us) how Locke and Ben’s lives have changed.

John Locke’s life is very different in the new reality. He is still disabled, in a wheelchair, and he still has the love of his life, Peggy Bundy…I mean Katey Sagal…I mean Helen Norwood in his life. In the new reality, Rose helps John Locke accept his disability and move on with his life. In the reality we are familiar with, his disability is gone, and so he never has to accept it. However, in that reality, he is trapped on an island, where arguably he is happy. However, in the new reality, perhaps it is a greater happiness to accept what can’t be changed, and freely move on with his life with the one he loves. In the new reality, he is still trapped in his wheelchair and by his disability, but in the reality we’re familiar with, he is trapped on an island, never to see his beloved Peggy Bundy – I mean Helen Norwood – again. We don’t know if Helen Norwood dies in the new reality as she does in the one we are familiar with, but even if she does, she and John Locke can now have up to three years together that they didn’t have in the reality we’re familiar with.

Ben Linus, shockingly, is a history teacher in the new reality! At the same school where John Locke gets a job (with Rose and Hurley’s help) as a substitute teacher (cute, how Locke is a substitute, and in the reality we’re familiar with, The Smoke Monster substituted for Real John Locke, and the name of the episode is “The Substitute”). I was very conflicted seeing Ben that way; I expected creepiness to ooze out of him as it usually does, but instead, he was understandably irritated in a way that most people would be, and he was polite, friendly, and not creepy.

Speaking of Ben, the man who plays him (Michael Emerson) was on Jimmy Kimmel Live (Part 1, Part 2). I’ve seen him not being Ben before, but it’s always fun to see how brilliant an actor he really is, since he is not creepy at all in real life.

SPOILER ALERT – Lost Season 6 Premiere and Beyond, Somewhat

I finally got around to watching Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse (Lost producers) on Jimmy Kimmel Live from the night of the Lost Season 6 premiere, and OMG! They revealed things!

They mention what we already know (assuming you’ve seen “LA X” (the Season 6 premiere)): that John Locke is the Smoke Monster. However, they also state that John Locke is not possessed by the Man in Black! This means the statue-fighting-the-Smoke-Monster hieroglyphic was not evidence that the Smoke Monster is the Man in Black as I suggested in a previous blog posting, but rather was foreshadowing Jacob’s fight with Fake John Locke. I was sure Fake John Locke was the Man in Black, even more so after seeing “LA X.” The interactions between Jacob and Fake John Locke seem blatantly like the interactions between Jacob and Man in Black (oh, right, I was calling him Guy-in-Black…whatever). Therefore, perhaps Guy-in-Black is to the Smoke Monster/Fake John Locke as Jacob is to Richard, or perhaps to the leader of the Island (Charles Widmore, Ben). That is, perhaps the Smoke Monster answers to Guy-in-Black as the leader of the Island and Richard answer to Jacob. (These thought might have been inspired by this blog.)

Very interestingly, Kimmel suggests that Sayid is now possessed by Jacob. Since I’m not the sharpest tool in the shed, I thought Sayid actually came back to life…I should’ve known better – of course that can’t happen, as we learned when John Locke was “resurrected.” The producers, however, imply that Kimmel might be on the right track in some way. Therefore, assuming Sayid is possessed by someone, I think there are two possibilities.

As Kimmel said, Sayid might be possessed by Jacob. This makes a lot of sense, since Jacob told Hurley to get Dying Sayid to the temple, so perhaps that is where Jacob intended on inhabiting Sayid’s corpse. Alternatively, perhaps Guy-in-Black has inhabited Sayid. Since Guy-in-Black is not inhabiting John Locke’s body, he is free to inhabit another body. Or maybe it’s someone else entirely…Or maybe Sayid was resurrected. The latter is doubtful, but still possible.

The producers mentioned that there will be numbers in the next few weeks, which is exciting of course, because numbers are fun! Yay! They also announced that the Lost series finale will air on Sunday May 23, 2010.

Three Things that Irritated Me about Leno’s Oprah Appearance

Everyone seems to be upset with Jay Leno (I mean more than they were before) because when he was on Oprah on January 28, he admitted to lying. He explained that he told a white lie in 2004 when he said he would be retiring in 2009.

This lie isn’t what bothered me. I don’t think I really expected Jay to retire – I only expected him to move on from The Tonight Show. When celebrities say they’re retiring, I generally don’t believe them; I actually share Jay’s view on this, where he told Oprah that while he believes that Oprah believes she will be “retiring,” he doesn’t believe she actually will. Of course she explained to Jay that she has not said she’ll be retiring, rather she is just leaving her show, but the point Jay was making about celebrities in general is the view I share with him.

What did bother me – what drove me insane actually – was the following three things:

1) Leno, as usual and as expected played the victim; he did not take any responsibility for what he did. He refused to accept that he had anything to do with killing Conan’s dream. He blamed the network (as he should), and he blamed the low ratings of The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien. However, he couldn’t admit that he had anything to do with Conan leaving The Tonight Show. He didn’t seem to have any awareness that Conan’s ratings were low most likely as a direct result of the low ratings of The Jay Leno Show, as well as the very existence of Jay’s 10 p.m. show. As many have stated, when Leno hosted The Tonight Show, he had dramas such as Law and Order as his lead-in before the local news – shows that, as David Letterman said, keeps people staring at their TVs for days. Conan didn’t have that; Conan had as his lead-in the low-rated Jay Leno Show whose low ratings almost caused the NBC affiliates to revolt. If NBC didn’t have to remove Jay from 10 p.m., and if Jay had chosen to leave NBC, as one would have expected him to, NBC would never have put Leno back at 11:35 p.m. either to push back The Tonight Show to 12:05 a.m. or to remove Conan from The Tonight Show. Without The Jay Leno Show, The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien would have had better ratings and therefore would have remained on the air. In fact, even if for some other reason (such as the fact that it was a transition or the increased ratings Letterman got from his scandal) Conan’s ratings hadn’t been good enough, his Tonight Show still would have remained on the air. After all, Leno’s ratings weren’t good for his first three years on The Tonight Show, but NBC kept him on the air. Which brings me to…

2) Leno told Oprah that Conan has been removed because of Conan’s poor ratings. He also claimed that this was the first year in The Tonight Show’s 60-year history where it would lose money. However, if losing money translates to poor ratings, then Jay seems to have forgotten about his first three years on The Tonight Show, where he had poor ratings. No one watched Jay’s Tonight Show until Hugh Grant kindly granted him an interview (that was previously scheduled) after being arrested for prostitution usage. Three years of bad ratings, and NBC didn’t cancel Leno’s Tonight Show. Yet Leno seems to really believe that NBC is canceling Conan’s Tonight Show after seven months of bad ratings. It just doesn’t make sense. (Yes, I do realize NBC cancelled Leno’s 10 p.m. show after five months because of bad ratings, but that is only because of the damage he was doing to their affiliates. When Jay had bad ratings on The Tonight Show, I don’t believe it was affecting the affiliates in such a way.)

3) Jay whined to Oprah about Jimmy Kimmel’s alleged “sucker punch,” where Kimmel made a joke about the Conan-Jay brouhaha. Of course, as Jimmy explained, he thought that since Jay used to be a comedian, he could handle a joke made about him, and go with it, rather than continuing to robotically read cue cards and later rat Kimmel out to Oprah. So Jay whined about Kimmel making a timely and relevant joke about him, yet Jay felt there was nothing wrong with his own “joke” about Letterman, which, really, was a sucker punch…to Dave’s wife. Jay’s joke was in response to Dave’s relentless and hilarious Leno jokes and discussions since this began, and Jay felt that one joke in response to Letterman was sufficient. But Jay’s joke was personal, it was more hurtful to Dave’s wife than to Dave (I would think), it was not timely since the tale of Dave’s infidelity is no longer a current topic at all, and, most importantly, no one found it funny. I didn’t fid it funny, the audience responded with “Oooo”s, and Oprah made it clear that she did not find it funny, and that she felt the joke was beneath Jay. But Jay thought it was funny.

Maybe that’s the problem: Maybe Jay isn’t funny anymore because he just doesn’t know what is funny anymore.

How to Resolve NBC’s Late-Night Woes

(See updates at the end of this posting.)

Apparently the rumors were true – Jay Leno’s 10 p.m. show will be cancelled, and Jay will move back to 11:35 PM in the form of a half hour show, pushing back Conan O’Brien’s Tonight Show and Jimmy Fallon’s Late Night to 12:05 a.m. and 1:05 a.m. respectively, and canceling Last Call with Carson Daly. It’s a shame that Jay should be quasi-cancelled, but I can’t say that I’m surprised. They seem to be blaming the time slot for Jay’s rating loss and Jay’s bringing down of the network (forgive my exaggeration), but maybe it’s not the time slot, maybe it’s Leno.

While I have almost always preferred David Letterman to Leno (I only say “almost” because there was a time when I had no preference), I have always found Leno to be funny and talented. However, since he moved to 10 p.m. – or maybe it started while he was still at the Tonight Show – he’s become less funny, in my opinion. His monologues, based on the few I’ve seen in recent times, contain a large proportion of predictable and unfunny jokes. He’s lost something, perhaps a slight edginess, perhaps in an attempt to cater to larger and earlier audience. Alternatively, perhaps it is my comedic tastes that have changed. After all, I have become obsessed with the refined and highly intelligent hilarity of The Daily Show and The Colbert Report. But then again, I still find David Letterman and Conan hilarious, as well as Chelsea Handler and Jimmy Kimmel (whom I unfortunately don’t watch as often as I would like to). So perhaps it isn’t me, after all.

While on the subject of late night comedians who don’t seem funny to me, I don’t understand the appeal of Jimmy Fallon. Sure, he’s cute, he was funny in his SNL days, and he’s likeable. However, I just don’t find him funny on Late Night. In his defense, I’ve only seen about two episodes, but I found both painfully unfunny, with only brief moments of mild laughter, as opposed to my excessive outbursts of laughter while watching the funny shows I mentioned. Jimmy Fallon’s monologues should really be better – a monologue in that format is essentially just SNL’s Weekend Update standing up, and as I mentioned, Jimmy Fallon was funny when he hosted Weekend Update. His monologues are…just…boring.

Getting back to Leno, while I don’t like that NBC and Leno are trying to screw over Conan and Jimmy Fallon by pushing them “deeper into the night” as David Carr said in The NY Times, it would really be a shame to see Leno leave the TV. As I said, he was funny, and I think he still has it in him to be funny again. In fact, I know he still has it in him because traces of his comedic talents are evident in Headlines, and in the interview segments of his show.

It seems that Leno is continuing his tradition of screwing over former Late Night hosts who seek to host The Tonight Show. First, he sneakily stole The Tonight Show from Letterman, its rightful heir, and now he and NBC are seeking to push The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien to 12:05 a.m., which, (according to this NY Post article) as Seth Meyers said on Weekend Update, is “no longer ‘tonight.’”

According to the NY Post article mentioned above, Conan has not yet made a decision regarding what he will do, though he is considering these comical concepts. Letterman also had a fun idea that I saw after thinking of this rather brilliant idea: Perhaps Leno could co-host Late Night with Jimmy Fallon. Perhaps two formerly funny people turned unfunny could together become funny once again. And what better place for Leno to re-gain his hilarity than on the set of Late Night, where David Letterman gave him a platform to showcase his funnies so many years ago. Clearly, the irony and the poetic justice would also be fun, in that Leno would be effectively demoted to Letterman’s old stomping grounds after Leno (from what I recall from The Late Shift by Bill Carter) sneakily and back-stabbingly pilfered The Tonight Show that was rightfully Dave’s.

In all seriousness, the best solution would probably be to leave Conan O’Brien, Jimmy Fallon, and Carson Daly alone, and to leave Jay Leno in his 10 p.m. time slot. The poor ratings could probably be fixed if Jay stopped kissing up to people, stopped catering to what he thinks the earlier audience wants, and just return to his formerly funny self. Instead of fixing the problem with Leno’s 10 p.m. show, NBC is creating more problems and drama that really is unnecessary. As NBC executive Jeff Gaspin stated (according to the same NY Post article mentioned above), a change such as a 10 p.m. comedy talk show will likely take time to obtain the degree of success the network and its affiliates hope for. I learned that from Howard Stern’s rants in years past, when he would point out the idiocy of radio and probably TV executives who have no patience and don’t seem to understand that changes take time to reach success – that success doesn’t happen over night.

UPDATE January 13, 2010: Conan has admirably decided not to accept NBC's demotion to 12:05 a.m., explaining that it would destroy both The Tonight Show and Late Night.

UPDATE January 19-20, 2010: It looks like this is Conan's final week on The Tonight Show, since all that's left are the minor details of Conan's exit from the evil claws of NBC, who will reportedly be paying Conan and his staff a nice severance of $40 million and allowing him to find work elsewhere. Jay Leno will likely get to steal back The Tonight Show (which is nice since Jay likes to steal things). Leno discussed his thoughts on the subject, of course acting as if he is a blameless saint, as he always does, going so far as to encourage people not to blame Conan, which, as David Letterman correctly and hilariously pointed out, no one has been doing. Leno acted similarly in 2004 as well, when he clearly stated that he would gracefully pass on The Tonight Show to Conan in 2009. But at the time, he neglected to mention that he would ungracefully take it back in 2010.

I feel bad contributing to the Leno hatred, even if he is deserving of it due to his continued back-stabbing and sneaky behavior. The fact is, the real problem is NBC and the idiot executives who work there (it seems Jeff Zucker would be the biggest idiot of them all, based on what everyone is saying). If they had just listened to me and 1) asked Leno to be funny again and 2) kept things the way they were, in time, the ratings might have improved, or at least they could then say they tried. If they had given The Jay Leno Show at 10 p.m. and The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien an appropriate amount of time to settle in, then at least they could say they honored Conan O'Brien's and Jay Leno's contracts...in an honorable way.

UPDATE January 22, 2010: Conan’s severance deal with NBC has been finalized. He will receive $33 million and his staff will receive $12 million. Conan’s final Tonight Show will be tonight, and Leno will return to The Tonight Show on March 1, 2010. Conan will not be permitted to have a competing show until September 2010, and he is forbidden from speaking ill of NBC after he leaves, but Letterman kindly assured us last night that he can and will continue to make fun of NBC.

UPDATE April 15, 2010:  I watched Jimmy Fallon on Late Night a couple of times more recently than when he premiered as well as on The Marriage Ref, and I'm happy to say, he has become funny again.  Also, I like The Marriage Ref, despite people's criticisms of it; I enjoy watching funny celebrities talking and arguing with each other.  Finally, Jay Leno is still not funny.

Comedians' Reactions to Letterman Scandal

After October 1, when David Letterman told the story of the alleged attempted extortion involving his affairs with women who worked for him, I wondered how his fellow comedians would react.

This blog from The Huffington Post and this article from the AP tell of what other comedians have been saying about Dave as of the weekend after his confession. It seems most are being easy on him or not talking about it at all. Jay Leno (The Jay Leno Show), Jimmy Fallon (Late Night), Seth Meyers (Saturday Night Live), and Craig Ferguson (The Late Late Show) have made jokes and comments about Dave’s scandal, but none of them were mean about it (towards Dave, that is; some were rightfully mean toward Robert "Joe" Halderman, the alleged blackmailer), which makes me happy.

In the week since Dave’s confession, Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert didn’t say a word about Letterman on The Daily Show and The Colbert Report, so they're with Conan O’Brien (The Tonight Show) and Jimmy Kimmel (Jimmy Kimmel Live!) in not talking about it, which also makes me happy.

I was very interested to know what Howard Stern thinks about Dave’s scandal.

If you read this article from The Examiner, you would think Howard Stern was hateful, and it almost sounds like Howard was screaming about how horrible Dave is. The article doesn’t misquote Howard, but it takes his statements out of context. If I hadn’t heard Howard myself and if I had only read that article, I would seriously hate Howard, and I’m a fan of Howard.

Since I did hear Howard talking about Dave, I can continue to love Howard (and Dave). As I expected and hoped for from Howard, he was completely honest about his thoughts about the situation. He made it clear that he likes Dave, and credits Letterman for always being supportive of him. He also said that Dave came out with this stuff in a brilliant way, and noted that he's a great communicator. But Howard felt that Dave screwing interns creates a really bad work environment where women feel they have to screw the boss to get ahead and men feel like they can't get ahead because they lack the necessary equipment. He also said if his daughters were taken advantage of as interns like that, he would cut off Dave's winkie. All these things are completely understandable, assuming that his affairs were, in fact with interns (I know Holly Hester came forward as having an affair with Dave while she was an intern), and if other interns and staff members were aware of those affairs at the time, and also assuming that Dave was abusing his position of power in the affairs, which we can't be sure of. I don't feel that Howard was mean-spirited towards Dave at all, as the Examiner article above might imply.

And finally, Dave’s reaction to himself was probably the funniest reaction of all the comedians. On the Monday after the confession, Dave spent almost the whole monologue cracking jokes about himself. He followed this hilarious monologue with another heartfelt statement apologizing to his staff and his wife for hurting them, as well as affirming that he did the right thing in confessing. Of course he ended the string of apologies with another apology to Sarah Palin, because it couldn’t hurt.

Dave has really been handling his scandal well. As both Howard Stern and Steve Martin have said, this scandal really does show us that Dave is human, and as Steve Martin noted, we really weren’t sure of that before.

I think the keep-quiet attitude and the lack of mean-spirited jokes from his fellow comedians show the reigning king of late night the respect that he still deserves, particularly since David Letterman is a victim of a felony.