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Showing posts with label Superlative thing ever. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Superlative thing ever. Show all posts

Sunday, November 12, 2017

What Ever Happened to the Best Cereal EVER?

I have written previously of the gloriously delicious and banana-y Banana Nut Cheerios, when I declared it Best Cereal EVER!  I have since enjoyed it periodically, for as I stated in that post, I am not much of a cereal person in general.  However, for some time, these wonderful Cheerios seemed to have vanished.  So you can imagine my delight when they suddenly re-appeared on a supermarket shelf and shortly thereafter in my home.  But my delight ended before my tummy received the cheery o's.  The Banana Nut Cheerios were little o-shaped imposters.

They did not taste strongly of banana; rather, they tasted mildly of it for the first bite, followed by increasing…something else.  'Twas a flavor I could not put my finger on.  Sugary?  Sort of.  Maple-y?  Maybe.  Brown-sugar-y?  Um, I don't know.  Of course, despite my disappointment, I continued to eat them, trying to re-attain the banana-y flavor I so yearned for.

In my previous post regarding these Cheerios, I explained that milk, especially real milk, brings out more of the delicious flavors.  Therefore, I must assure you, I did indeed have real milk with my not-so-Banana Nut Cheerios.  If you must know, it was a fancy organic and even grass-fed milk.  'Twas my first time having such a fancy milk.  I was surprised to find I did not moo as a result of imbibing it.  I did not moo at all.

I was uncertain if the lost banana flavor was General Mill's fault or mine own.  Perhaps I had a taste in my mouth that altered the cereal, or perhaps my taste buds were on the fritz.

So I conducted thorough research into whether the Banana Nut Cheerio recipe had changed.  Of course, by "thorough research," I mean I quickly Googled.  In so researching, I learned that the mysterious absence of Banana Nut Cheerios was due to an evil and cruel discontinuation of said cereal two flippin' years ago!  Didn't they know I love them?  Why would they do such a treacherous thing?  Anyhoo, they made what could have been a triumphant albeit limited-time return recently.  I then compared the old ingredients to the new ingredients, and it most certainly has changed.

Ironically, the changes in ingredients suggest an improvement in quality and healthiness.  There are no longer any chemical-sounding words in the ingredients list, and almonds have been replaced with pecans and cinnamon (I mean, "natural flavors" of these things).  There are 10 more calories per the same sized serving of 3/4 cup, and 1 gram less sugar.  Instead of a combination of whole grain corn and oats, it's now just whole grain oats.  None of this should be bad, except maybe the 10 more calories, though that's only a problem if you have many servings at once (as some people do).

I realized the problem was probably that the pecan and cinnamon flavors are stealing the spotlight from the banana, and those were probably the flavors I couldn't put my finger on.  Almonds (or "natural almond flavor" as it were) are probably more mild, and certainly a lack of cinnamon would keep the spotlight on the banana.  The old recipe got one important thing right: it knew that bananas were the star of the show.

With my new understanding of what the new Banana Nut Cheerios are, I decided to give them another chance.  This time, I had the cereal with Lactaid, another (less) fancy milk whose lactose is removed or something.  I don't think the type of real milk made a difference in this case because the cereal tasted the same as it did before.  However, my expectations and understandings were different, as I no longer expected anything all that banana-y, and I did expect cinnamon and pecan flavors.  And so it was.  Because I was no longer distracted by my disappoint in lack of banana flavor, I was able to experience the cinnamon pecan flavor as the initial banana faded.  While it is no longer the best cereal ever, and it is not a yummy banana-y cereal, it is a yummy cereal with an initial hint of banana.  I can still recommend it, but not as whole-heartedly as I once could.


Friday, April 20, 2012

A Sad Idol Day

**SPOILER ALERT AI-11 Top 7 parts 1 and 2 results are discussed below.***

I am heartbroken and shocked that Colton Dixon was voted off American Idol. He should have won. I couldn’t even vote for him because I couldn’t get through, which is normally an indication that a contestant will not be eliminated. Therefore, this is obviously a big conspiracy.

Colton could have at least been the traditional “shocking” Top 4 elimination, as Chris Daughtry was so many successful years ago. Colton certainly should not have been voted out at the Top 7 level. Last week, the judges were absolutely correct to use their save for Jessica Sanchez, because she and her massive talent also don’t deserve to be voted out this early. Since Colton was removed, I now believe that Jessica should win, with Joshua Ledet as the runner up, and Hollie Cavanagh in the Top 3 (since she has improved so much). Regarding Skylar Laine and Phillip Phillips, I do think they are quite talented; however, I’m simply not the biggest fan of either. I am a bit of a fan of Elise Testone, but I don’t think she is as talented as the rest of the Top 7.

Someone on the TV suggested that Colton was voted out because of his performance of Lady Gaga’s "Bad Romance," however, I loved that performance – I love what he did with what is probably Gaga’s best song ever. My guess is that the red blob he added to his newly blond hair might have had something to do with his removal. However, as I stated previously, his talent is so phenomenal that what he does to his hair is rendered less significant. Anyway, regardless of why he was (wrongly) voted out, it shouldn’t have happened, and I know that he will be successful. I very much look forward to buying his CD when it is released, for there is no doubt that there will be one to begin his (knock on wood) long and successful career, and that it will be amazing.

The dimly bright side to Colton’s elimination is that I can now go ahead and buy all of his things on iTunes. You see, I am not a fan of iTunes (I love Amazon MP3), so I was waiting until the season was over to go and purchase all the American Idol contestants' songs that I want, and thusly minimize my exposure to the dreadful iTunes. Since Colton’s are the only songs that I absolutely need to own, I will go ahead and buy his songs now. Perhaps I will make another journey to the iTunes hellscape at the end of the season for some of the other songs of the other contestants, but such a treacherous venture might not happen. I wish these things were not exclusive to iTunes, for Amazon MP3 is so much better.

UPDATE April 24, 2012

I saw Colton on the TV, and he has removed the red blob from his hair, so he obviously read my blog and took my implied advice! There is no other possible explanation! Woohoo! Unfortunately, however, his hair remains blond.

I was listening to one of Chris Daughtry’s Idol performances (his best one ever), and I realized that I love Colton the way I love Daughtry. They both have the kind of voice, emotion, and talent that reaches deep within my soul and brain, captivating me and causing me to mutter with admiration, “OMG, I love him so much.” While Daughtry’s effect is stronger than Colton’s, Colton’s effect is still undeniable. This provides further certainty that Colton will be tremendously successful.

UPDATE March 9, 2013
SPOILER ALERT: American Idol Season 12 Top 10 results are mentioned below.

It seems that my hopes and predictions were wrong, in that Jessica Sanchez did not win, but rather was runner up to Phillip Phillips.  I did end up venturing back into the iTunes hellscape to purchase some of Jessica's Idol songs, and I will likely buy her debut album when it is released this Spring.  Moments ago, I purchased Colton Dixon's album A Messenger, which is wonderful as expected.

If you're interested in my Idol thoughts regarding the 2013 batch, there are currently only four of the Top 10 who I really like, in the following order: Kree Harrison, Lazaro Arbos, Angie Miller, and Devin Velez.  While he is not in the Top 10, I also really like Charlie Askew, who has a wonderfully apt last name that appears to be real.  I hope he finds success and happiness.  Aside from talk of her last name or whether she is pleasantly askew, the same could be said of Aubrey Cleland.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Gaga Farming

My obsession with Zynga’s FarmVille has finally amounted to something undeniably worthwhile and wonderful, in that Lady Gaga and FarmVille have joined together for the best promotion ever. The awesome GagaVille promotion allows us farmers to listen to the whole Born this Way album three days early.

Born This Way [+Digital Booklet]I absolutely love this album, and I think it’s the only thing I’ve been listening to for the past couple of days. About half the album made my brain rejoice immediately, and the songs that I didn’t instantly love grew on me very quickly. The songs range from good to amazing.

GagaVille itself is pretty awesome too; with all the cool crystals, unicorns, and electric roses, my Gaga-fied farm has become quite shiny, and the GagaVille farm is the most bizarrely beautiful farm ever. This promotion makes me wonder if Gaga farms too, and I bet she does! That makes me love her even more! It’s nice when two obsessions join together to form one ginormous sparkly obsession.

UPDATE: May 23, 2011

Now that this magnificent album has officially been released, I have discovered that what was streaming in GagaVille was not the whole album (that is if I’m remembering the stream correctly, which I might not be). Anyway, now that I have the complete album via my GagaVille game card (which also came with remixes of “Born This Way” and “Judas”), and now that I have the tracks rather than a trackless stream, I can tell you which specific songs are amazing, in my opinion. Yes, I realize I could have easily found the track listing and done this before, but I didn’t so stop complaining.

Before I get to that, I feel that I should address the “Express Yourself” similarity of “Born this Way,” since it was just brought back to my attention by Weird Al Yankovic’s wonderful and funny parody, “Perform This Way.” I have noticed that at least one other song on Gaga’s album also sounds reminiscent of Madonna’s “Express Yourself,” and I think that elucidates the probable intentionality of Gaga’s invoking of that song. A large part of Gaga’s message is to be yourself, to show the world who you are, and thus, to express yourself. Gaga was very obviously influenced by Madonna, and I had assumed that was the extent of the “Express Yourself” similarity, but hearing Weird Al’s allusion in the context of his parody somehow crystallized for me that the similarity is likely not accidental. I heart Weird Al, and I heart Gaga.

Getting back to my thoughts regarding the Born this Way album, the following songs are amazing, and I think they are the same ones that my brain loved instantly. I will parenthetically refer to track numbers on the regular edition (the special edition comes with three additional songs and some remixes):

“Marry the Night” (Track 1)
“Judas” (Track 4)
“Americano” (Track 5)
“Hair” (Track 6)
“SheiBe” (Track 7)
“Bloody Mary” (Track 8)
“Highway Unicorn (Road to Love)” (Track 10)
“The Edge of Glory” (Track 14)

That leaves the other songs that I either instantly thought were really good, or that grew on me to become really good. These opinions obviously refer to how I feel now, and that could obviously change in the future; as I listen to these songs ten billion more times, they might grow on me more to become amazing (or I might get sick of them). Nothing on the album sucks, or is even less than really good. That said, these are the just-very-good-right-now songs, in my arrogant opinion (just kidding, it’s humble):

“Born this Way” (Track 2)
“Bad Kids (Track 9)
“Heavy Metal Lover” (Track 11)
“Electric Chapel” (Track 12)
“You and I” (Track 13)

The three additional songs on the special edition version seem to fall under the “just really good and not yet amazing” category, which might be why they are not on the regular edition.

“Black Jesus + Amen Fashion” (Track 9 on Special Edition)
“Fashion of his Love” (Track 11 on Special Edition)
“The Queen” (Track 15 on Special Edition)

I heart Gaga.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

SPOILER ALERT – Lost Season 6: Thoughts During “The End”

The following are thoughts I had during the final episode of Lost, written in sort of a Twitter-like (Twittery?) way. See this blog posting for post-show analysis, and this one for pre-show thoughts during the retrospective, “The Final Journey.”


I think I’ve forgiven Sawyer – I don’t seem to hate him anymore for killing Sun, Jin, Sayid, and Lapidus. I’m wondering if Kate will end up with him or Jack in the New Reality/Flash-Sideways, and I think I would be happy either way.

I’m so stubborn that even though Jack has already become the new Jacob, I still feel like Hurley is very Jacobian. His mannerisms, his New Reality and old reality confidence mixed with his natural sympathy and morals, and his genuine desire to help people, particularly his friends from his old life, all seems so very Jacob-like. It really hit me when he told Charlie he was sorry before he shot him with a tranquilizer gun. It was so nice to see the genuine happiness in Hurley’s face when he saw Charlie for the first time in the New Reality; as the producers said in the retrospective and as I began to guess previously, Hurley (and also Desmond) seems to have full access to all the memories from the reality we are familiar with.

When I wondered who helped Desmond out of the well, I never would have thought it was Rose and Bernard. To be honest, I forgot about them again, which I think is what they would want. Unfortunately, the very evil Fake John Locke used threats of murdering them to get Desmond to go with him and do his bidding. Interestingly, Fake Locke claims to have promised to never hurt them. If he will sink the island, that would inevitably hurt them. As always, he is lying.

Speaking of sinking the island, the end became obvious when Fake Locke said he would destroy the island by sinking it, since the producers said the island no longer exerts its effects since it’s under water in the New Reality/Flash-Sideways. Or maybe that was all just to throw us off.

As I expected, Richard is not dead, and was only knocked out. I had been thinking (but I don’t think I wrote this) that perhaps Jacob’s gift of immortality died with him (Jacob); however, clearly it did not.

BEST MEMORY OF A PAST LIFE EVER!!!!!! Jin and Sun. Everything is ok now. They remembered everything when Juliet (!) was their baby ultrasound doctor; they remembered the island, each other, when Sun thought Jin was dead, their English, their best reunion ever, and dying together. Omg, greatest moment on Lost ever! Now it’s all ok. Their deaths in the reality we’re familiar with made this moment better than it could have been. I can therefore fully forgive Sawyer now.

Holy crap! Lapidus is alive!!! And he wants to fly Richard and Miles off the island! But the plane is already full of explosives that Widmore installed! Oh no! But wait, didn’t Richard and Miles know that too?

That’s strange, Richard has a gray hair, though he’s not supposed to age, and he was happy about this, explaining that he just realized he wants to live. Is it because he’s now going to age and die like a non-immortal, and my suspicion that Jacob’s gift died with him was accurate?

It’s kind of funny that Jack in the New Reality is trying to improve Real Locke’s life and half joked that he could kill him, while in the reality we’re familiar with, he is trying to kill Fake Locke.

I knew it!!!!! Juliet is Jack’s baby-mama (and ex-wife), just as I predicted!!!!!!

Hurley in the New Reality is sounding more and more Jacob-like, saying things like he’s not allowed to tell Sayid something because there are rules and he should trust him, and that Sayid is a good person. Even in the reality we’re familiar with, he told Jack he believes in him when they separated when Jack went with Desmond and Fake Locke toward the Light. Maybe Hurley is secretly the new Jacob somehow. It was cute how Fake Locke said that Jack being the new Jacob is the obvious choice hahahaha, it sure is.

Wow, Sayid’s destiny was Shannon – I thought it was Nadia. I guess that’s what I get for missing giant chunks of seasons.

This episode is ripping my heart to pieces, jumping from one reality to the other, happy fate finding and love finding times to crazy world ending apocalyptic times.

What does Desmond mean when he says they’re going to leave once everyone knows about their previous life and their fate? And why isn’t he taking Daniel Widmore/Faraday with him? Are they going back to the island? The one that’s underwater in this reality? Or are they going to another island? Why would they leave if they can have their destinies in the real world? Apparently, Eloise Hawking/Widmore knows of the previous life and island, and that was why she didn’t want Desmond to start looking for Penny. It wasn’t about her jealousy of her husband’s other child, as I suggested before.

I guess if they didn’t jump between the heart wrenching and the heart warming, we wouldn’t be able to handle it – it would be too overwhelming. It was nice that they had Gene Wilder gently singing about imagination in the Willy Wonka song in the commercial directly after one of the heart wrenching moments, as if to calm us down and remind us that this is fiction – it’s pure imagination.

Ben isn’t evil; he was just trying to survive. He went right back to helping his new friends when he became separated from Fake Locke. And now he, along with the kingly Hurley, wants to help Jack rekindle the Light that Desmond was told to turn off. Ben said if the island is going down he’s going down with it, but I think it’s more than that. I think he wants to help his new friends, for the sake of the good of humanity, and for the sake of the good in his soul.

Hurley will be the new Jacob! I mean the new Jack! Because Jack is going to sacrifice himself as Desmond did to rekindle the Light that Desmond was told to turn off! And before he does, he is going to make Hurley the new New Jacob, i.e. the new Jack! Jacob said Jack would protect the Island for as long as he could – that didn’t have to mean an eternity! I totally wrote all that before Jack just said “it needs to be you, Hugo.”!!!! I was right all along!!!! That was why Jacob said, “I’m not going to choose, Hugo.” I thought he was just taunting me, since without punctuation that becomes “I’m not going to choose Huge,” but he wasn’t taunting me. Jacob didn’t choose Hurley because Jack would choose Hurley!

Desmond’s alive! Woohoo!

Omg, I love Hurley, and I love Ben, and I love that Ben told Hurley what I’ve sort of been saying all along – that Hurley will do what he does best: take care of people. In return, Hurley gave Ben what he (Ben) always wanted: recognition of his importance and usefulness. Hurley asked Ben to help him, and Ben was honored, and this is how it was supposed to be, and I love Lost.

Omg, I don’t think I ever cried so much because of the TV. They’re all dead. All of them. They want to leave because it’s not the real world at all; it’s Heaven, or some kind of afterlife. Christian Shephard explained to Jack that they created this so they could find each other because their time together was the most important part of their lives. That’s why the show began with Jack’s eye opening on the island and ended with his eye closing on the island. Jack’s life, and all of their lives, happened on that island. That’s why their lives were all better in the New Reality, because it wasn’t reality at all, and that’s why the producers called that portion of the plot the “Flash-Sideways” and why I was very wrong to call it the “New Reality.” I was right, though, sort of, when I said the New Reality/Flash-Sideways is what Hurley as the new Jacob wove as their new improved lives. Except it was all of them, perhaps led by Hurley, perhaps not. It was comforting to hear that some of them died before Jack and some long after, and that there is no “now,” because we can therefore assume that most of them lived long lives. Now I understand why Ben was working things out before going into the church; he wasn’t ready to move on. I assume this is because he did a lot of evil things in his life, and he needed to work through that, the way he seemed rather distraught for what he did to Locke. His apology to Locke and Locke’s forgiveness really meant so much, not just to Locke and Ben, but to us.

I had a feeling the show would end with Jack’s eye closing, because the producers were hinting at it, when they said on talk shows that they knew what image the series would end on from the beginning

Lost is brilliant. The producers are brilliant. I apologize to the producers for all the mean things I said about them. They’re not evil at all. They’re brilliant. I love Lost. Best show ever. Best episode ever. I kind of hate it though; I wanted the New Reality to be the realest reality, not the fakest. But I can’t deny it, it was amazing.

Friday, May 7, 2010

SPOILER ALERT – Lost Season 6 “The Candidate”

Noooooooooooooooooo! Worst episode EVER!!!!!! I hate Lost!

I’m lying – I still love Lost, but omg, how could they do this to us??? I know it’s not real, allegedly fiction and all, but HOW COULD THEY DO THIS TO US?????

Omg, I don’t know what to do with myself. I'm going to read the Entertainment Weekly thing about this episode. I haven't been reading the Lost blogs this season, except for bits and pieces when I’m confused, because I wanted to keep my Lost watching pure and my blog different and not influenced by others. I figured I might read them after the show is over and maybe write about them then. However, I have to read this one, to help me grieve.

I have only read the beginning of Doc Jensen’s EW article so far, and he explains why they did this to us. Apparently, the producers wanted to show us that they have the power to decide who lives and who dies; in other words, they wanted to play G-d, which, as Flanders said on The Simpsons this week, is the most evil thing you can do. Of course, the article doesn’t say all that; it just says the producers wanted to show people that they are willing to kill anyone off. I see through to their evil ways.

If you haven’t seen this week's episode of Lost, “The Candidate” yet, you shouldn’t be reading this, but if you have, then you know that Sun, Jin, Sayid, and Lapidus were killed off. As I watched Sun and Jin die, I thought to myself (though not aloud as usual), "Do 'Jin and Sun' mean 'Romeo and Juliet' in Korean?” We just watched the most wonderful reunion ever between Sun and Jin, and then they went and killed them. But on the bright side, at least they did get to be reunited before they died together, and at least they are probably and hopefully going to continue to live in the New Reality/Flash-Sideways.

When I mentioned my Romeo and Juliet thought to a friend, she wondered what Sun and Jin actually do mean in Korean. I googled, and I found a blog where someone links the names with the numbers on the cave wall with the corresponding psalms. It's really interesting. In it, it says that Jin means gold, Sun means goodness, and Kwon means authority. I’m not sure if they are translating from Korean, but those meanings definitely fit well with the characters; Sun and Jin are as good as gold, and are filled with goodness….I mean “were.” :-(

The author of that blog suggests that Sawyer will be the next Jacob, because the name James is derived from Jacob, which, as I’ve discussed previously, means “supplanter.” However, the author also provides the psalm that corresponds to the number associated with Hurley on the cave wall, a psalm that states, “What is man that you are mindful of him...You made him a little lower than the heavenly beings and crowned him with glory and honor. You made him ruler over the works of your hands.” Clearly, that provides further evidence for my Hurley-is-the-New-Jacob theory, assuming that Jacob is not G-d, as I’ve suggested, but is a divine force that answers to a higher being, and that protects the world from evil. Of course, the author of that blog states that not all the characters fit nicely with the corresponding psalms, and the author also clearly states that the ones that do could very well be the result of coincidence.

The title of the episode, “The Candidate,” was completely misleading; I was all excited because I thought my theory that Hurley will be named as the new Jacob would finally be confirmed. However, this episode had nothing to do with naming the new Jacob at all, NOTHING! Well, it did eliminate some people as potential candidates, and Hurley was not eliminated, so at least it didn’t disprove my theory.

I don’t even know why they named the episode “The Candidate,” except that Jack in the New Reality/Flash-Sideways says that New Reality Real John Locke is a candidate for a new surgery that could allow him to possibly walk again, but that is not sufficient criteria to name the whole episode “The Candidate.” Thus, this is more evidence that the producers of Lost are evil. Obviously, my accusations of evilness stem directly from my grief and sadness for the loss of several beloved characters. I probably don't really believe the Lost producers are actually evil.

Real New Reality John Locke sort of disproved one of my smaller theories. I spoke of his acceptance of his disability, which allowed him to move on with his life, and I linked to another blog that suggested that he did not want Jack to fix him because clinging to potentially false hope would not allow him to accept his disability. We learned in this episode, however, that he insisted on remaining disabled in order to punish himself. In the New Reality/Flash-Sideways, Anthony Cooper didn’t defenestrate his son; rather, Locke was flying a plane with his father as his first passenger and crashed, causing Anthony Cooper to be far more crippled than Locke would become. Are you still stuck on “defenestrate”? I never thought I would have an opportunity to use that rather awesome word; it means to throw something out a window. Anyway, it turns out that Locke accepted his disability (which did allow him to move on with his life), but can’t accept the loss of his vegetable father.

A few characters in the New Reality/Flash-Sideways have had visions and such of the reality we are familiar with, and now New Reality John Locke can be added to that list. As he was waking up while still in the hospital after Jack fixed the new problems Desmond caused when he crashed into Locke, Locke muttered something about pushing the button, and wishing that Jack had believed him. Of course, Jack later says he wished Locke would believe him when he said he could fix his disability and that he doesn’t need to punish himself.

I don’t believe Jack has had any visions of the reality we are familiar with; however, he is noticing the many strange coincidences involving himself and the other passengers of Oceanic 815, since he keeps running into them. Much like in the reality we are familiar with, Jack is beginning to believe in something bigger than himself and science.

I mentioned previously that Jack learned to follow and trust other potential leaders, thereby adding to his natural leadership skills. Additionally, Hurley learned to lead, and therefore also became more well rounded. However, Sawyer has not learned to both follow and lead as his fellow candidates have. That flippin’ idiot Sawyer should have trusted Jack when the latter figured out that if the bomb were left un-tampered with, they would not die, since Fake John Locke/The Smoke Monster/Man in Black probably cannot kill the Jacob candidates, just as he/they could not kill Jacob. This was another loophole; Fake Locke/Smoke Monster/Man in Black arranged to get the Jacob candidates to kill each other. Sawyer had to hold onto real-world logic and non-crazy thinking despite the illogical and crazy nature of their experiences and of the island.

Jack and Hurley are better men and better Jacob candidates than Sawyer is. Jack, a natural leader and a man of science, was able to let go of the rules of the life he was familiar with and accept bizarre truths and faith; he was able to let go of his need to lead and learn that trusting others and following rather than leading are necessary at times. Hurley essentially did the inverse; he overcame his lack of confidence and took on a leadership role, thus complementing his faith and willingness to follow directions. Sawyer, however, did not grow as Jack and Hurley did; he maintained his stubborn need to lead, and he refused to accept the bizarre logic of the island. He did not learn to have faith.

In this episode, we learned that Infected Sayid still has Good in his soul. Perhaps Desmond, whom Sayid did not kill after all, found it when he apparently got through to him in “The Last Recruit.” In “The Candidate,” Sayid sacrificed his own life, and therefore the unlikely possibility that Fake John Locke/The Smoke Monster would follow through with his promise of retuning Nadia to him, to save his friends. Despite being infected with Evil, Sayid’s final choice was Good.

Okay, I think I feel a bit better now. Maybe I don’t need to read the rest of that EW article right now after all. I will read the rest of it after the Lost finale, probably. For now, I can remain somewhat pure.

Regarding my “Worst episode ever” proclamation above, now that I have calmed down, I can see that it was not really the worst episode ever. In terms of great TV and great drama, it was a great episode. However, in terms of content and things happening that I don’t like, “The Candidate” was indeed, the worst episode ever.

UPDATE May 8, 2010


I’ve been thinking more about Lost, and I realized a couple of things that might be obvious to some people.

Firstly, I previously assumed that Fake John Locke/The Smoke Monster was recruiting people to be on Team Evil, and thus, to become indebted to this probable Devil and do his bidding. However, we learned in “The Candidate” that he was simply recruiting our special characters so that he could gather them together in a small confined space where he would arrange for them to kill each other, since he probably cannot kill them himself. In my blog posting about “The Last Recruit,” I had doubt that Jack was really Fake Locke’s last recruit; I felt that Jack would not go with Fake Locke and do his bidding. However, Jack was his last recruit; all Fake Locke needed him to do was to be in that confined space with the other candidates. Fake Locke/The Smoke Monster didn’t need to get off the island with the candidates; he needs the candidates to be dead like Jacob in order to be free. This seems so obvious now that I finally thought about it. Duh.

Secondly, in my blog posting about “Lighthouse,” I mentioned that another website noticed that Kate’s name was crossed off the list o’ candidates on the cave wall, but not on the lighthouse thingie. I wondered at the time if the cave list was created by someone other than Jacob, such as the Man in Black/The Smoke Monster/Fake John Locke. Now I realize that Fake John Locke/The Smoke Monster was probably the one who crossed her name off, regardless of who made the list. Fake Locke showed the cave list to Sawyer; so clearly, he wanted to make Sawyer believe that Kate doesn’t have the protections of being a candidate, thereby allowing Fake Locke to use threats to Kate’s life to manipulate Sawyer. Sawyer, the skilled con man, was conned by Fake John Locke/The Smoke Monster/Man in Black. I’m really quite angry with Sawyer for inadvertently causing the deaths of Sun, Jin, Sayid, and Lapidus just because he stubbornly refused to trust Jack, can you tell?

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Best Comedy Album EVER!

UPDATE September 29, 2010
Myq Kaplan has become a cartoon!

UPDATE August 9, 2010 (08-09-10)
Myq Kaplan was a top 5 finalist on Last Comic Standing. I un-biased-ly (impartially?) believe he was the funniest one there. He should have won.

UPDATE August 10, 2010
Some evidence for my lack of bias regarding Myq Kaplan's superior hilarity can be found at Entertainment Weekly and The Examiner. For more Myq Kaplan fun, here is an interview someone had with him.
Update: Friday August 13, 2010 (Happy Friday the 13th!): Here is another rather fantastic interview.

This blog posting is extremely biased, because I think I’m cool because I know the subject of it, Myq Kaplan. So take my over-hyping with a grain of salt, and bear in mind that I would probably feel similarly even if I didn’t know him.


One of the greatest comedy albums ever was released this week: Myq Kaplan’s Vegan Mind Meld. I could listen to it a thousand times, and, like a good Simpsons episode, I would find it funny every time.

Myq Kaplan builds jokes as a master chef might build a delicious layer cake (please note: I have never built a cake, but I have seen Alton Brown build a cake on Food Network). Every line is a delicious layer; each layer could stand alone, and the layers come together and build upon each other to form delicious hilarity. Now I want some cake.

I went to college with Myq Kaplan, but I didn’t really know him too well; I’m an excessively shy freak, so I tend not to make friends with people (or, you know, talk to them), as much as I might want to. What I did know, however, was that he is hilarious, genuinely kind, and ridiculously intelligent. Myq was in all the funniest classes that I took in college – obviously his funnies had something to do with that, unless maybe Semantics is just naturally hilarious.

When I found him on Facebook about two years ago, I was very happy to see that one of the funniest people I’ve ever encountered had become an actual stand-up comedian – everything was right with the world. At the time, he was going to be on Comedy Central’s Live at Gotham. His success continued to grow; a few months ago, he was on The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien, and now (well, last night) he was on Comedy Central again, this time on Comedy Central Presents Myq Kaplan, which was obviously hilarious.

Myq Kaplan’s growing success brings me tremendous joy for two reasons: 1)A genuinely kind, talented, funny, and deserving person is gaining success, and 2) I know a famous person who I’ve seen on the TV three times. Therefore, as I said in the beginning of this blog posting, I think I’m so cool! Oh, also there’s a third reason: 3) His success means I get to hear and see his humor more.

Perhaps the title of this blog posting is a slight exaggeration, and perhaps it is partially motivated by some bias. However, all biases aside, Myq Kaplan and his CD are really quite funny.

Monday, April 26, 2010

SPOILER ALERT – Lost Season 6 “The Last Recruit”

This week’s episode of Lost, “The Last Recruit,” was rather fantastic, almost overwhelmingly fantastic in fact. I think I need a break from Lost, so it’s probably a good thing that there’s a repeat next week, and according to Wikipedia, new episodes will return May 4. As I'm sure everyone knows by now, the finale is Sunday, May 23.


Best Reunion Ever!

Obviously, I’m referring to the Sun and Jin reunion that finally happened in this episode. I was beginning to worry that they might never reunite, and that would’ve been sad (understatements are fun). It was cute how Sun’s English, or her voice as Lapidus said, came back when she was reunited with her soul mate.

Jin and Sun essentially reunited in the new reality/flash-sideways as well. As Jin tells Sun, it’s over and everything’s okay; they can finally be together as they were meant to be.

Jacob v. Fake John Locke/The Smoke Monster/Man in Black

One of the many differences between Jacob and Fake John Locke/The Smoke Monster/Man in Black was made evident (though possibly not for the first time) in this episode. Fake John Locke does not take responsibility for his actions; when Sun wrote that he caused her aphasia, he blatantly and unapologetically stated that it was not his fault. However, Jacob does take responsibility, and does have remorse for bad things he causes; when Real John Locke became paralyzed, Jacob told Locke he was sorry it had to happen to him. Um, maybe he didn’t take responsibility then, but he did have remorse and/or sympathy.

Sayid’s New Choice

Apparently, when Fake John Locke/The Smoke Monster threw Desmond down the well, he did not kill him, as I was concerned he might have. However, now that Widmore sent Zoe to get him back, Fake John Locke sent Sayid to kill Desmond, against Sayid’s desires. However, Sayid became willing when Fake John Locke reminded him of what he promised him – that he would bring Nadia back to Sayid.

At this point in the episode, something suddenly occurred to me that might have been obvious to most people. Fake John Locke/The Smoke Monster/Man in Black makes a lot of promises to get people to do his bidding, but I don’t think we’ve seen any of those promises fulfilled; it seems he simply uses the hope of a promise fulfilled to get people to do as he says, but he will probably never follow through. Furthermore, Fake John Locke promised to bring Nadia back from the dead, but, in “Ab Aeterno,” Jacob told Ricardo/Richard he was not able to bring the latter’s dead wife back to life. If Jacob cannot bring people back to life, what makes us think Fake John Locke/The Smoke Monster/Man in Black can? He is totally lying! Stop making fun of me for not realizing before – I already admitted that this was probably obvious to most people already.

Sayid does believe that Fake John Locke/The Smoke Monster will bring Nadia back from the dead, because, as he explains to Desmond, he was able to bring Sayid back from the dead. However, Sayid was freshly dead; I would imagine if people can be resurrected, it would have to be a reasonably fresh corpse. After all, Jesus was only dead for two days or something like that before he was resurrected, if you believe in that (I’m Jewish, if you didn’t realize). I am not suggesting that Sayid is Jesus or that he is a Christ figure; I am only attempting to deduce rules of resurrections.

The choice Sayid made in this episode was whether he would or would not kill Desmond, and therefore, whether he would or would not continue to sell his soul and sacrifice everything and everyone for the hope of having his Nadia back. Desmond tried to talk some sense into Infected Sayid. Remember, Sayid has been “infected” since his resurrection, according to Dogen, which makes a lot of sense since Sayid credits his resurrection to Fake John Locke/The Smoke Monster. Anyway, Desmond asks Sayid how he would explain to Resurrected Nadia the evil means by which he would cause her resurrection. We don’t know what Sayid chose; we can only hope there was some good left in his soul, and that he made the right choice to not kill Desmond.

Of course, this choice is paralleled in the new reality/flash-sideways. After Sayid shoots some gangsters, he explains to Nadia (he sister-in-law) that she will be okay and he will leave. In other words, he believes he doesn’t deserve her, and he is sacrificing himself and any hope of a relationship with her for her happiness and safety.

Fate in the New Reality/Flash-Sideways

It was fun to see Ben in the new reality/flash-sideways trying to help save Real New Reality John Locke’s life, for as I’m sure you recall, in the reality we are familiar with, Ben murders Real John Locke. Ben was meant to be a good guy, and the new reality allowed that to happen.

Real New Reality John Locke’s disability proved to be life saving; Jack was told that the wheelchair saved Real Locke’s life by absorbing most of the impact from Desmond’s falsely vengeful car (hahaha, like the car can be vengeful or wrong). The life-saving nature of his disability goes well with my previous discussion regarding Locke’s life being improved in the new reality, in part due to his disability, in that by accepting it, he could move on and be happy. If he hadn’t accepted his disability, he wouldn’t have gotten his job as a substitute teacher at the school Ben teaches at, where Ben would help save him and identify the assailant (Desmond). If Locke weren’t disabled, when Desmond sought vengeance, as he surely would have regardless of where Locke was, Locke would have likely died without his wheelchair to save him. Once again, everything came together, as if by fate.

This episode had a lot of coming together of our special characters in the new reality. Sun and Real New Reality John Locke are in the same hospital where Jack works. Jack is Locke’s surgeon, and I imagine he might cure Locke’s disability now that its life-saving purpose was fulfilled. Ilana is Jack’s lawyer who Desmond coincidentally brings Claire to, which brings Jack and Claire together. Sawyer arrests Sayid while Miles questions Nadia. Kate figures Sawyer out and they flirt after Kate is arrested. And so on, I say because I can’t remember what else happened. We still don’t know who Jack’s baby-mama/ex-wife is, and I still bet it’s Juliet, particularly since in the reality we are familiar with, he is filled with guilt for causing her death.

Who’s Your Daddy?

I’ve wondered previously (though I didn’t write about it) who Dead Christian Shephard (Jack and Claire’s dead father) is on the island. I have, at various times, thought he might be Resurrected Christian Shephard, some form of Jacob, some minion of Jacob, or Man in Black/The Smoke Monster. He seemed to be helpful, so I assumed he must be good. After all, with a name like Christian Shephard, how could he not be good…but then again, Real John Locke and presumably Philosopher John Locke were good, so perhaps when characters die, the meaningfulness of their names dies with them. In this episode, Fake John Locke/The Smoke Monster claims that he was indeed Christian Shephard, and Claire confirmed it. However, he lies, and she trusts him, so who knows if it’s true.

The Island of Dr. Shephard

Jack is hot. Now that we got that out of the way, we can discuss his new attitude. He explained in “Everybody Loves Hugo” that after Juliet died, he began to question his ability as a leader, and so he began to learn to be a follower. First, he learned to follow Hurley, which is good, since I’m quite sure Hurley will be the new Jacob, as I’ve discussed previously. He also learned to follow Sawyer’s lead, as he helped Sawyer get their friends onto the boat headed for the other island without Fake John Locke. However, when it mattered, he followed his own instincts to not leave the island, explaining to Sawyer that if Fake John Locke/The Smoke Monster wants them to leave, he must be afraid of what will happen if they stay. He also explained that the first time he left the island, he felt like a part of him was missing. Jack and Sawyer’s roles were then reversed, as Jack (after being ordered by Sawyer who wants to leave the island) jumped off the boat and swam back to the island. As we might remember, when the Oceanic 6 was preparing to leave the island, Sawyer jumped out of the plane and swam back to the island when there was too much weight. Of course, when Sawyer got back to the island, he was met by Juliet, while Jack was met by Fake John Locke.

Jack’s decision to remain on the island to fulfill his purpose delineates another role reversal; previously, it was Real John Locke who had faith and believed they had a purpose on the island. Fake John Locke called Real John Locke a sucker for believing that. This either suggests that Fake John Locke truly doesn’t believe there is a purpose to the island, or that he wanted to convince Jack of that. The latter is more likely true, since, if Jacob wasn’t lying, Jacob, Jack and the other Jacob-candidates purpose is to protect the island, and the purpose of the island is to detain Evil/Man in Black/The Smoke Monster/Fake John Locke and keep it from spreading throughout the Earth and/or the Universe. So of course Fake John Locke would want to convince Jack that there is no purpose for being on the island. Assuming that Fake John Locke is evil, Jack was right to stay on the island.

Unfortunately, the title of this episode, “The Last Recruit,” refers to Jack. At the end of the episode, Fake John Locke tells Jack that he would be okay and, “you’re with me now.” However, just because Fake John Locke says it doesn’t make it so…Unless Jack temporarily died via Widmore’s attack on Fake John Locke and Fake John Locke resurrected Jack…

We might have another Sayid on our hands…

Monday, March 29, 2010

SPOILER ALERT – Lost Season 6 “Ab Aeterno”

WARNING: This blog posting contains mildly explicit language. Viewer discretion is advised.

OMG! OMG! OMG! I was right! “I am smart! I am smart! S-m-r-t! I mean s-m-A-r-t!”

I quote the great Homer Simpson because I was pretty much right about something huge! It’s rare that I display smartness, so I must gloat on these rare occasions.

Are you dying to know what I was right about? Well, if you read my blog and have seen this week’s episode of Lost, “Ab Aeterno,” where so many Lost questions were answered, then you would surely know.

As I postulated in a previous blog posting, Jacob’s job is to contain Evil on the Island in order to keep Evil from overtaking the Earth. This is why Man-in-Black (I gave up on calling him Guy-in-Black)/The Smoke Monster/Fake John Locke feels trapped and wants to escape; he is Evil, and he wants to escape so he and his evilness may roam free through the world, and as Isabella tells Hurley, all the world will be in Hell. Please note that I referred to this as “The Darkness” in that blog posting, as Jacob called it “The Darkness” in this episode. How awesome am I? How awesome are you for reading my blog? Very, on both counts. Very indeed.

I will provide more brilliant insights and predictions in the present blog posting. I am not conceited.

Some Background

First and foremost, if you don’t speak Latin or if you haven’t yet googled, “Ab Aeterno” (the episode’s title) means “From Eternity.” Obviously, it’s a reference to Richard’s immortality, as well as a reference to the Jacob v. Man in Black feud.

This episode answered questions Lost fans have been wondering about for an eternity, particularly questions about the oh-so-mysterious Richard Alpert. In April of 2009, I wrote an email to my Lost-pushing sister about Richard Alpert. You’ll see that I was quite insightful, and quite wrong in one respect, though I brilliantly and insightfully corrected myself. I’m so flippin’ smart.
I read Wikipedia's thing on Richard Alpert (the Lost character). It explains, "he plays a role in the group's hierarchy that has been compared to that of the Panchen Lama in Buddhism by the series' producers.” Clicking on that word reveals that that role is the second highest in Buddhism, just under Dalai Lama. This makes sense, since it seems that someone else is always the leader, like Ben, Charles Widmore, and it seems John Locke is supposed to be next. The first link says that Jacob is the leader of the Others, so maybe that's who Richard is really second to. Maybe Jacob is G-d (I just thought of that now). Jacob means “supplanter,” and Biblical Jacob was the one who fought G-d, and was then given the name Israel by G-d, which means "one who has been strong against G-d."

Getting back to Richard Alpert, the article mentions the person he was named after of the same name. The real Richard Alpert was a spiritual guy in the 1960s and 70s who had some association with a Hindu spiritual leader.
Wow, I’m smarter than I realized. I had forgotten about Biblical Jacob’s interactions with G-d because I was so focused on the Biblical Jacob v. Esau thing. Perhaps my earlier suggestion that Man in Black/The Smoke Monster was a divine leader before Jacob usurped him might in fact be accurate. The question is, then, is it a battle between Good and Evil, or is it a battle between two divine entities who simply have differing worldviews and differing views of human nature.

Evil from Within Lost

This episode was exhausting to watch, largely because of all the crazy drama and Lostiness, but also because I was rather distraught to discover that the producers of Lost blatantly lied to us. They very clearly stated on Jimmy Kimmel Live that Fake John Locke is not the Man in Black, but he is the Smoke Monster. “Ab Aeterno” clearly shows us what I believed whole-heartedly to be true before those evil producers lied to me – that The Man in Black is indeed The Smoke Monster, and since Fake John Locke is also The Smoke Monster, it follows that Fake John Locke is The Man in Black. Why did you lie to us, Lost Producers, why?! Maybe there will be a twist and they will have not been lying all along. Perhaps Man in Black is lying and is not The Smoke Monster. After all, he is an evil bastard, he would lie. Continue reading for more evidence that Fake John Locke is not Man in Black/The Smoke Monster in the section below entitled “Man in Black.”

Identifying Jacob

Jacob is good. I’m maintaining a tiny little bit of doubt just in case they’re still screwing with us, but I think it’s pretty clear at this point. Jacob might be G-d, or he might be some alternate form of G-d – a divine power. It seems like Jacob doesn’t view the words “Hell” or “Devil” as defining Evil, so perhaps he doesn’t view G-d as defining Good. It seems like Jacob views things in terms of Good and Evil in a broader sense that probably encapsulates the Good- and Evil-related beliefs of all the world’s cultures, rather than being restricted to the Christian view of things. I surmised all this from Jacob’s reference to “what [Richard/Ricardo] call[s] Hell.” Additionally, Dogen had also referred to Fake John Locke/The Smoke Monster/Man in Black as “evil incarnate” rather than calling him the Devil, so it seems that Jacob and his followers probably do not subscribe to any particular religious belief. Man in Black/The Smoke Monster blatantly claimed that Jacob is the Devil, although he did leave that to Richard’s assumptions regarding The Smoke Monster. He also blatantly told Richard he is dead and in Hell. Man in Black’s blatant Devil and Hell-centric claims further demonstrates Man in Black’s willingness to tell people exactly what they want to hear in order to get what he wants.

Jacob’s purpose has become clear. He or whoever holds his position exists to contain and detain Evil on the Island, to protect the Island from Evil, and therefore, to protect the world from Evil. Logically, then, Jacob is the Protector, not just of the Island as I suggested previously, but of the Universe. Jacob is G-d or some other form of Divinity representing Good, defined by some religions as G-d. Jacob represents Free Will; he believes people can and should make their own choices, and he believes he should not make those choices for people, even if people choose Evil. Jacob believes and hopes that people will ultimately choose Good over Evil. Jacob guides people, he helps them, he leads them, but he does not choose for them. Jacob hires Richard to guide people towards Good rather than Evil in ways that might be more direct than Jacob is willing to do himself. Jacob does not want to interfere with people’s choices.

Perhaps what Jacob intends and what Jacob does do not align perfectly. He does not intend to interfere with people’s decisions, yet it’s possible that he might have had profound effects on our special character’s lives, possibly in the new reality (flash-sideways) and without a doubt in the reality we are familiar with. Jacob brings people to the Island, and he touches people, providing them with special gifts; these things interfere in their decisions. These things might even force them to make particular decisions.

In my first Lost-related blog posting, I suggested that Jacob and Man in Black might both be evil forces, playing a game with people’s lives just for the sake of playing a game. Jacob provided evidence for this when he explained that he brings people to the Island to prove that people can choose Good over Evil. This is a subtle admission that he is playing with and interfering with people’s lives just to prove a point to a Man in Black, or to prove the point to himself. Jacob brings people to the Island where Evil lives to see if they will fall to Evil temptation. That seems rather evil of Jacob, though his intentions might be Good, and though he might otherwise be Good. Even Divine Good can be flawed.

In light of Jacob’s reason for bringing people to the Island, it’s interesting to think about and see how our special characters as well as our less special characters have faired in the face of Evil temptations. Most of our characters (such as Jack, Hurley, Sun, Jin, and Lapidus) have remained on the side of Good. Some characters have fallen to follow Evil (Fake John Locke/The Smoke Monster/Man in Black), either by choice (Claire and Sayid, sort of), by accident (Kate), or in a possibly hopeless and/or misguided attempt to con the Devil himself (Sawyer). Ben, a man who’s lived much of his life committing evil acts in the name of Good, came close to turning fully to Evil for power and acceptance, but Good (via Ilana) accepted him. One character almost fell to Evil from desperation and a sense of lost purpose (Richard), but was drawn back by the inherently Good Hurley.

While there is a plethora of evidence that Jacob is G-d or some other form of Divine Goodness, there is at least one piece of evidence that he might not be G-d. When Jacob and Ricardo/Richard were making their deal, Jacob informed Ricardo/Richard that he could not grant him absolution for his sins. If I understand the monotheistic religions’ views correctly, G-d is capable of providing absolution, either directly, such as in Judaism and possibly Islam (I don’t know very much about the latter), where one will never know if G-d has granted forgiveness, or indirectly, such as in Christianity, where a Priest can speak on behalf of G-d and grant forgiveness. I don’t know much about Buddhism, Hinduism, or other religions, but it seems they all have similar concepts of a Divine entity granting forgiveness. Therefore, if Jacob could not grant absolution for Richard’s sins, does that indicate that he is not divine? Perhaps, or perhaps it simply indicates that Jacob did not believe Richard was deserving of absolution, perhaps due to the nature of his murderous sin, or perhaps because Richard, who insisted the murder he committed was an accident, did not take full responsibility for his actions, and perhaps lacked sufficient remorse. Perhaps this is also why Richard is not a candidate. The six remaining candidates have also sinned I’m sure, but even Sayid, who arguably has sinned the most, took full responsibility for all the torturing he’s done, and clearly has tremendous remorse for it. Perhaps Jacob, as a Divine entity, feels that repentance is more than asking for absolution.

Worst Episode Ever, or Not

In the beginning of the episode, when Richard said they are dead and in Hell, and then again when Man in Black said the same thing to Ricardo/Richard, I was very tempted to write my blog in three words: “Worst episode ever.” Fortunately, Jacob saved me from having to make such a proclamation, proving to Richard that he (Richard) is alive (unless that was an evil illusion, so sneakily evil that only the Devil could pull it off). It would be tremendously unsatisfying if it turned out that the island was Hell and everyone was dead all along. Sure, it would be an interesting view of Hell, and in that sense, it would be far from unsatisfying. Um, so, I guess “unsatisfying” wasn’t the right word. Unsettling – it would be tremendously unsettling. It would also, for some reason, bring to mind the Robin Williams movie that I like a lot, What Dreams May Come. Anyway, since I’m going to assume they’re not in Hell, this was a great episode.

Mea Culpa (Latin for “My Bad”)

While I was right about some things, other people were wrong about some other things, and I propagated these falsehoods in a previous blog posting. Richard did not come to the island from England on his way to Australia, he came to the Island from the Canary Islands on his way to America, but it is true that he was a convict. We learn in this episode that he had been sold into slavery to avoid being hanged for murdering a man in hopes of saving his wife. If I’m remembering correctly, it was also suggested that the Others’ ancestors came to the island with Richard, but it looks like they came later somehow. Perhaps they came from England and perhaps they were also convicts. Who knows.

Evil Possibilities

I wondered previously if Richard had sold his soul to Jacob to obtain his gift of immortality and not aging. It appears that he did not sell his soul, though he did agree to do something for Jacob in return for it. One could argue that that is a form of soul selling; after all, he gets to live forever without aging, but it looks like he must live on the island for eternity as Jacob’s liaison. However, this deal was in no way obscured – it was clearly laid out, and Jacob’s proposition that Richard be his liaison initiated it, rather than Richard’s desires for immortality. It was a friendly exchange, where Jacob was providing payment in the form of a gift in return for Richard’s service. Furthermore, Richard’s new job involved helping people to choose good over evil, an inherently non-evil endeavor. A Devil’s advocate might suggest however that perhaps Jacob sneakily led Richard into a trap; that Richard did sell his soul to Jacob without even knowing it. Yes, I know, this is very unlikely, and as I said, that is only what a Devil’s advocate would say. Puns are fun.

While I don’t want them to be in Hell, there is some evidence that they are. Isabella (Ricardo/Richard’s wife) was on the island with Richard before The Smoke Monster killed her or consumed her soul or did whatever it is he does to people. If she is not dead and in Hell, how did she get onto the island? Perhaps the priest snuck her onto the Black Rock.

Man in Black

Man in Black and Fake John Locke both complain about Jacob trapping him and holding him captive on the island, and both mention having been a regular person before. Fake John Locke gave us insight into the life he led as a regular person when he told Kate in “Recon” that he had a crazy mother. As I’ve suggested before, perhaps Man in Black/Fake John Locke/The Smoke Monster isn’t evil; perhaps he was wrongly captured and detained. Of course the evidence for his evilness ha been illuminated rather thoroughly, what with all the killing and so forth, but perhaps he didn’t start out being evil – perhaps he was driven to evil by being held captive for so long. Alternatively, maybe, like Lucifer, he fell from grace and became evil via his own choosing. If that is the case, it is rather interesting that he believes people are destined to choose evil, the very thing Jacob has been trying so hard to disprove.

I find it strange that Richard didn’t recognize Fake John Locke as Man in Black. Fake John Locke speaks and acts very much like Man in Black, with very similar intonational patterns and mannerisms. I wonder if Richard’s lack of recognition might in fact be evidence against Fake John Locke being Man in Black. Maybe those Lost producers aren’t evil liars after all.

This episode delineated more similarities between Jacob and Man in Black/The Smoke Monster/Fake John Locke. Man in Black told Richard to kill Jacob in the same way that Dogen told Sayid to kill Fake John Locke. When Sayid did as he was told, Fake John Locke was unaffected and definitely not (re-)killed. Was this a result of Sayid’s new infection? Are Jacob and Man in Black different kinds of beings? Does this provide another piece of evidence that Fake John Locke/The Smoke Monster is not Man in Black after all? Perhaps if Fake John Locke really was the Man in Black, perhaps Sayid’s murdering of him would have been successful.

Both Sayid and Richard were told to kill Fake John Locke and Jacob before the respective entity spoke, for if he spoke, it would be too late. I imagine this not speaking clause might result from both of their abilities to talk people into and out of things, perhaps in a manipulative, Devilish way. This suggests that both Fake John Locke and whoever he represents, as well as Jacob might be evil – or it suggests that Dogen and Man in Black perceive Fake John Locke and Jacob respectively as Evil.

My Brilliant Prediction

I believe that Hurley will be the candidate to take over the role of Jacob. As I mentioned before, his last name, Reyes, means Kings, suggesting that he is destined to be King of the Universe. I have also discussed his genuine kindness, and other Good qualities. He genuinely wants to help his fellow man, and would do no harm. Speaking of doing no harm, I believe that if Hurley is not going to be the new Jacob, then Jack will be (he’s a doctor, so he took that do-no-harm oath, hence my segue). Jack Shephard, a born leader, is also genuinely kind and also has lots of Good qualities (well, all the candidates do), and Jacob made a point to protect Jack and Hurley in “Lighthouse.”

Anyhoo, getting back to Hurley, I further believe that he has already taken over the role of Jacob in the new reality/flash sideways. Everyone’s lives have improved in that new reality, and I can’t help but think Hurley has more to do with that then simply hiring a bunch of his friends in another reality. Perhaps Hurley is re-writing their lives so that they can be improved, as he attempted to rewrite Star Wars, so that it might be improved, when he was transported to the 1970s. Perhaps they were foreshadowing his Jacobian take-over.

It’s possible that I’m wrong, of course, and one piece of evidence for my potential wrongness is Hurley’s presence, presumably as a mortal, in the new reality. It could be that whoever takes the Jacob role wouldn’t have a mortal life anymore, but then again, perhaps he or she can. Perhaps, in a Christ-like way (let’s pretend we’re all Christian for a second), the new Jacob could exist both as a divine being on the island as well as a mortal being in LA. If, however, this is not the case, and if I am correct in my prediction that the new reality/flash-sideways is the result of the new Jacob, then the new Jacob must be someone who we have not seen in the new reality. However, I believe we have seen all the six non-crossed-off candidates in the new reality. Therefore, my assumption that the new Jacob can exist, whether mortal or not, off the island is very likely accurate. Of course we know that Jacob could leave the island; I wonder if he still existed on the island when he left, or if he simply sojourned off the island. Anyway, my point is, I don’t believe that Hurley’s presence in the new reality is evidence against my prediction that he is the new Jacob, and that the new reality is what Hurley as the new Jacob has woven.

We shall wait and see if more of my predictions end up being correct. It’s fun to be right about stuff, but it should be noted that it’s easier to be right when one suggests every possibility one can think of, thereby increasing the chances of accuracy for at least one of those possibilities. See, I told you I’m not conceited.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

SPOILER ALERT – Lost Season 6 “Dr. Linus”

Best episode EVER!

But I knew it would be, based on the title of the Lost episode ("Dr. Linus”) coupled with the things Michael Emerson (the man who plays Ben Linus) said on Jimmy Kimmel Live a few weeks ago. He had said what happens with Ben is very satisfying, and it sure was. I love Ben. I also love Michael Emerson; he is an amazing actor. He should win some more Emmys.

Michael Emerson also said in that Kimmel interview that he was a comic actor prior to Lost. That seems about right; there’s something comedic about Ben in a strange sort of way. I don’t mean that he’s funny, exactly – I’m not really sure what I mean. Ben shares something with the creepy or otherwise dramatic characters that Robin Williams has portrayed. It’s a certain level and depth of character that perhaps only a brilliant actor with comedic talents and comedic instincts can capture. I don’t know if any of this makes sense, but that’s ok – after all, these are the quasi-incoherent thoughts of a Yels (get it, that’s my blog description; look up).

Anyhoo, getting back to this magnificent episode, it was quite the rollercoaster of emotions, between the Richard-Jack-Hurley saga worrying about Kate, Sayid, Sawyer, Jin, and anyone else I’m forgetting, wondering whether Widmore’s presence at the end of the episode will be for good or evil, and of course the Ben saga. I was literally on the edge of my seat, hoping and even praying that Dr. Ben in the new reality (flash-sideways) wouldn’t sell out Alex for his own power as he did in the reality we are familiar with. When he faked us out and it looked like he had fallen into his evil ways, I thought to myself (I didn’t yell out this time), “Noooooooooooo!” Needless to say, I was filled with joyous relief when he hadn’t sold her out at all. In fact, he managed to maintain the good in his heart and actions, while still gaining just enough power from the immoral principal to gain respect and his history club, allowing him to help the children. He even went further to sacrifice his parking space just for the sake of keeping his word and helping a friend, which was so very Hurley of him. It’s clear that Ben’s life in the new reality is vastly better than it was in the reality we are familiar with, despite Ben and his father’s sadness and regret for the “better” life he could have had if they had stayed on the island.

As I watched Ben with his father, I couldn’t help but wonder if his father in the new reality was the abusive man he was in the reality we are familiar with. They confirmed somewhat (though not entirely) surprisingly that Ben’s father did work for the Dharma Initiative and they did live on the island in the new reality. It would seem that everything that happened before Juliet detonated the hydrogen bomb would have still happened the same way. However, it is possible, and I believe there’s been evidence for this (such as Jack’s childhood appendectomy that he didn’t remember in the new reality), that everything changed, even before the bomb. This seems plausible since our special characters were traveling through time in the reality we are familiar with; they would not have traveled through time in the new reality, so the things they affected wouldn’t have happened in the past, before their plane didn’t crash. Alternatively, if nothing did change before the bomb, it would suggest that Ben’s father must have been reunited with Young Ben after Young Ben was taken to the Others; if I’m remembering correctly, Sayid shot Young Ben and Kate took him to the Others before the bomb. As I write that, it seems like it just doesn’t make sense, because the new reality could not have gone on from there, because the time travel would not have happened…but if the time travel didn’t happen, then Juliet wouldn’t have detonated the bomb...This is all very confusing. The question is, did the bomb reset all of history, or was its effects restricted to the things that happened in linear time after the bomb was detonated?

“Dr. Linus” encapsulates the warm fluffiness I alluded to in a previous blog posting. Portions of it were painful to watch and feel, but there was tremendous satisfaction in the results and the progress. Ben took full responsibility for his actions and felt real remorse for the things he’s done. We had seen this begin to happen when they buried Real John Locke, but it was completed in this episode. He recognized that Alex was killed because of his desire for power, and he recognized that he killed Jacob because he felt that Jacob had forsaken him. It broke my heart when he said he wanted to go with Fake John Locke/The Smoke Monster because he’s the only one who would have him, and not because of the power that Fake John Locke promised. I’m glad Ilana gave Ben the acceptance he needed.

Until that powerful breakthrough, Ben was driven by his insatiable hunger for power. Shortly before his emotional breakthrough, he remembered his life prior to the Oceanic 815 crash with yearning and nostalgia; it was a time when he ruled the island – when he had almost unquestioned power. In the new reality, Dr. Linus told his history students about Napoleon’s loss of power, explaining that for Napoleon, power loss was tantamount to death – without his power, he was nothing. In the reality we’re familiar with, Ben was almost Napoleonic (“almost” because he clearly did not want to die) in that sense. However, his need for power vanished as the emotions poured forth from him, and in the new reality, he did not succumb to powerful temptations. Ben was not destined to be consumed by his desire for power. Miles said that Jacob hoped Ben had changed until the moment Ben killed him; Jacob’s hope became reality.

It’s interesting to note the differences between Ben’s and Sayid’s battles between good and evil within themselves. In the reality we’re familiar with, Sayid spent much of his adult life trying to prove to himself that he is good, but in the end, evil overtook him; Ben spent his adult life behaving in evil and self-serving, power-hungry ways for what he believed was a greater good (it probably still is a greater good), but was overtaken by good in the end, despite Fake John Locke’s offer of power. In the new reality, Sayid cannot accept that he is good, as evidenced by his belief that he doesn’t deserve Nadia; in the new reality, Ben is good, and he proves that even when Real, New-Reality John Locke gives him a nudge to be self-serving and power-hungry. In so many ways, the new reality parallels the old one, as if by fate.

Speaking of fate, Jack seems to be accepting his fate (as well as embracing his faith), as Jacob said he would. He realized his presence on the island has a special purpose, and, in his usual shepherdly/Shephardly way, seems to be taking the leadership role, as he begins to lead Richard. Jack and Richard now share a bond; each believed their lives no longer had purpose, and each wanted their life to end because of that sense of lost purpose. For each, that sense of purpose along with the desire to live was restored, perhaps by the island, and perhaps by Jacob.

Richard explained what all Jacob’s touching means – Jacob’s touch is a gift of specialness. That sounds inappropriate hahahaha. For Richard, that specialness means not aging and what appears to be immortality and indestructibility, but we don’t know if it means exactly the same thing for each person, though that is possible. We still don’t know if Jacob touched our special characters in the new reality, and we therefore still don’t know if it matters. Thus far, it seems everyone’s lives are slightly or significantly better in the new reality than they are in the reality we are familiar with, but several things remain consistent – and therefore potentially fate-driven – between the two realities.

While it continues to be very likely that Jacob is or represents G-d or some other divine force or being, there is evidence that Jacob might be evil. Fake John Locke/The Smoke Monster is more blatant about offering evil temptations and making devilish deals involving souls, but Jacob does it too. We learned in “Sundown” that Dogen sold his soul to Jacob; he agreed to spend his (eternal?) life protecting the Temple on the island so his son could live.

If Jacob is G-d or otherwise divine, perhaps the evil that happens under his rule is similar to that which happens outside Lost. Perhaps the island is a representation of our real-life world, where people act in service to G-d in ways they believe to be good and right, but with consequences that at times are not. Ben, like Abraham, was willing to sacrifice his child in the name of a divine being – for Abraham it was G-d, for Ben it was Jacob and the island. Abraham didn’t do it in the end, but Ben did. What if Abraham had sacrificed Isaac in the name of G-d? Perhaps he would have followed the path of Ben – perhaps he would have felt forsaken by a G-d who would let him murder his own child. Perhaps he would have killed – or denounced – G-d, and perhaps the Jewish (and therefore Christian and Muslim) religion would not have been, for G-d would have been viewed as evil. Except G-d and Jacob didn’t kill anyone in this scenario and on Lost; Abraham would have, and Ben did – they would have and did (respectively) attribute the murder to divine purpose, but their purpose would have been Abraham’s and was Ben’s. People wage wars in the name of G-d; people do evil things in the name of G-d. As Jacob makes very clear, people have free will, and bad things happen under G-d’s and Jacob’s watch. However, that doesn’t mean that G-d and Jacob aren’t good. People simply take things too far, and, at times, perhaps cross that thin line between good and evil.