NBC Just Keeps Making Things Worse

Well, so much for the reduced Jay Leno hatred. I’m sure everyone has seen NBC’s obnoxious ad for the return of The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, with the contextually obnoxious anti-Conan lyric “Get back to where you once belonged.” Fortunately, someone corrected that ad with the more appropriate lyric “I’m a creep…I don’t belong here.”

Oh, Jay, you don’t belong there, you just don’t.

After all that Letterman did to try to help Jay, NBC had to go and ruin it. I’m not blaming Jay as much as I’m blaming NBC, because Jay is a robot, and apparently, robots aren’t yet capable of saying no to their network.

SPOILER ALERT – Lost Season 6 “Lighthouse”

I’m tempted to start logging the outbursts that I have while watching Lost. In my last Lost-related blog posting, I mentioned one such outburst (“You’re the Devil!”) that occurred during “The Substitute.” “Lighthouse” resulted in another outburst. At the end of the episode, when Claire said Fake John Locke isn’t Locke but rather is her “friend,” I exclaimed aloud, “Clair is friends with the Smoke Monster! Omg!” I watch Lost alone – I think you can understand why. Anyhoo, so I guess either Claire or Fake John Locke/The Smoke Monster is the really “bad” person who is going to the Temple, according to Jacob.

Speaking of Jacob, I wonder why he is only protecting Jack Shephard (the shepherd-like leader of them all) and Hugo Hurley Reyes (whose surname means “kings”) from Crazy Claire or her bff the Smoke Monster/Fake John Locke. He stopped Hurley from trying to warn the others – or maybe he didn’t have to – maybe they’ll all escape anyway. After all, Kate and Sawyer certainly aren’t going back. Sayid is “infected,” so Jacob probably isn’t interested in saving (or isn’t able to save) him anymore. Jin tells Crazy, “Infected” Claire he wants to go back to the temple, but maybe he doesn’t really plan on such a thing. I don’t think Sun, Lapidus, and Ben made it to the Temple yet, and maybe Miles will just escape, or simply isn’t special enough for Jacob. Hmmm... or maybe all these non-Jack and non-Hurley people have already been crossed off Jacob’s list o’ candidates for Protector of the Island? If only I paid attention to who was crossed off…

Ah, but I didn’t have to pay attention, because someone else did! Most of the people I mentioned are the non-crossed off people (Jack, Hurley, Kate, Sayid, Sawyer, and Jin, Sun, or both). Interestingly, Kate is crossed off from the cave list but not from the lighthouse list, and there are a couple of other discrepancies you can read about there at that link I linked to. While there, you’ll also notice the special numbers make appearances in association with each of the non-crossed out special characters' names.

I also neglected to notice whether the handwriting on the list at the lighthouse and the handwriting on the wall of the cave in “The Substitute” were the same (the link above doesn’t mention whether it is or not). I say this because I can’t help but think that both Jacob and either Man in Black or The Smoke Monster/Fake John Locke could have a list. If that is the case, then presumably Jacob’s would be a list o’ candidates for Protector of the Island as they’ve been saying, and the “evil” list would be a list o’ potential recruits of some sort. “Evil” is of course in quotes because really, we still don’t know for sure who is good, evil, both, or neither.

I realize that there is a tremendous amount of evidence of the evil nature of the Smoke Monster, however, some of that evidence is ambiguous. The Smoke Monster, when not in the form of Fake John Locke but in the form of the pillar of smoke, seems to have a snake-like shape, as well as (what I think are) snake-like sounds. Humans are hard-wired to easily form fears of snakes, presumably due to their dangerous nature. Biblically speaking, of course snakes are the epitome of evil and represent evil temptation and the Devil. However, I saw something on the History Channel once, about The Garden of Eden and what might have really (historically) happened. I learned there that other religions that existed at the time of the formation of Judaism and monotheism viewed snakes as divine creatures, and it was suggested that those other religions and their gods were viewed as evil so that the new monotheism could begin to enjoy prevalence. In other words, if I’m remembering the History Channel program correctly and if it was accurate, then snakes were once viewed as divine, and therefore creatures that might represent “good,” but became perceived as evil by a different and new religion who needed to replace those gods with their one G-d, and who had a different view of what could represent divinity. Therefore, as I said before, perhaps The Smoke Monster is merely misunderstood; perhaps he was the good, the divine, before Jacob perhaps usurped him. This concept fits well with the dichotomy I spoke of previously, where Jacob represents evil via Biblical Jacob in tricking his blind father into giving him his good brother Esau’s birthright, where good Esau is represented by the Smoke Monster and/or the Man in Black – I mean Guy-in-Black (as I mentioned previously, this of course is contrary to the traditional belief of Jacob good, Esau bad).

Getting back to “Lighthouse,” I rather enjoyed this episode (let’s just pretend for a second that I don’t enjoy every episode even though I do), probably because it was so Jack-centric, and Jack is one of the two hottest people on the TV (the other is Seth MacFarlane, the Family Guy guy). In addition to being ridiculously hot, Jack is also one of my favorite characters because he is so deeply dark and complex and hot.

I wonder what they’re getting at with Jack not remembering something like an appendectomy from his childhood. Are memories from his alternate life mixing with his “flash-sideways” life? (Flash-sideways seems to be what people are calling that new reality). I also wonder who Jack’s ex-wife (or baby-mama (New Reality Jack has a son!)) is in the new reality. It can’t be Kate, but maybe it’s Juliet! We haven’t seen her around yet…

It occurs to me that in my pervious discussions of whether our special characters’ lives improved, became worse, or remained the same in the new reality and presumably without the touch of Jacob, I haven’t discussed Hurley. His life in the new reality thus far seems unquestionably better; rather than feeling he is cursed as he did in the reality we are familiar with, he feels that he is lucky in the new reality. Otherwise, he remains the genuinely sweet guy who will do anything to help a friend, even a friend from another reality/life. Hurley is awesome.

SPOILER ALERT – Lost Season 6 “The Substitute”

As is so often the case with Lost, “The Substitute” provoked some thinkings.

The Reality We are Familiar with

As I watched Fake John Locke/The Smoke Monster attempting to tempt Richard and successfully tempting Sawyer, I exclaimed (out loud of course) at the TV, “You’re the devil!” and then I laughed. I sounded just like Mike Myers as Philip the Hyper-Hypo on SNL, when Nicole Kidman’s character (Grace?) tempted him with a Hershey bar.

The point is I think “The Substitute” provides more evidence that Fake John Locke/The Smoke Monster is Satan (or Lucifer, or the Devil, assuming those aren’t all the same guy), and therefore, so is The Man in Black (Guy-in-Black, whatever), since I am still convinced that The Smoke Monster and Man in Black are somehow related.

Fake John Locke’s successful tempting of Sawyer into going with him to the cave and (presumably) leaving the island to “go home” brought to light a couple of alternatives or variations on the Jacob v. Guy-in-Black Dichotomies I spoke of in a previous blog posting, as well as some more evidence for a couple of the dichotomies I discussed there. It also brought to light evidence against one of my posited dichotomies, where I suggest that Jacob is the Protector of the People and Guy-in-Black is the Protector of the Island; I don’t believe that is likely anymore, since Fake John Locke claims that Jacob was the Protector of the Island, though anything is still possible.

There are two pieces of evidence for what I said before. First, Fake John Locke throws a white stone into the ocean that had been on a scale with a black stone, explaining it was an inside joke. Clearly, that inside joke referred to Jacob v. Guy-in-Black, regardless of what they represent, and Guy-in-Black’s indirect murdering and eliminating of Jacob. Obviously, that is the classic Black is Evil and White is Good…But then again, is that really so black and white? The other piece of evidence for things I’ve said came in the form of Guy-in-Black's statements suggesting that Jacob falsely makes people think they have a choice when the “reality” is they don’t. Thus, he emphasized the dichotomy I posited, Free Will (Jacob) v. Destiny (Guy-in-Black).

The first alteration or variation on dichotomies I suggested previously is:

Master, Evil, or possibly but doubtfully Good (Jacob) v. Some kind of enslaved being, therefore, either Good, Misunderstood, or Evil (Guy-in-Black via The Smoke Monster). If this is the case, Guy-in-Black and The Smoke Monster are trapped on the island, enslaved, or somehow held captive by Jacob or whomever the Master, or “Protector of the Island,” is (assuming Fake John Locke was being truthful in his explanation of our special characters being candidates to take over the Jacob job). To accept this possibility, we would have to take Fake John Locke’s statements at face value; we would have to trust Fake John Locke. Given my exclamations of “You’re the Devil!” regarding Fake John Locke, I have trouble doing that. However, the possibility remains, and if it is the case, then the poor Smoke Monster and Guy-in-Black just want to escape from that crazy island.

The other variation on the dichotomies I spoke of is:

Protector of the Island, or maybe still G-d, Good (Jacob) v. Dude who wants to usurp Jacob’s position by indirectly killing Jacob and driving away the candidates, Evil (Guy-in-Black via The Smoke Monster). Personally, I think this makes the most sense and while I’m no expert in Satany things, I imagine Satan probably wants to rule the world too, so Fake John Locke’s devilishness fits well with this. That is, assuming he really is being deceitful and devilishly tempting, as opposed to simply looking at things in different ways, being misunderstood, and having good intentions.

Speaking of evil people, how much did you want to hug Ben at Real John Locke’s funeral? Poor Creepy Ben, (possibly) feeling remorse for Real John Locke’s murder, maybe also for Jacob’s murder, and more importantly, for finally being able to verbalize his jealousy of John Locke in a more mature way, as we see when Ben eulogizes Real John Locke (“John Locke was a believer, he was a man of faith, a much better man than I will ever be. And I'm very sorry that I murdered him.”). Even though I wanted to hug him, he masterfully maintained his magnificent creepiness even there, which is not surprising, since Ben’s creepiness is only rivaled by (SPOILER ALERT – HOUSE M.D. SEASON 5) Creepy-Hallucination Amber in House M.D. Yeah, Ben is fabulously creeptastic; I love it.

New Reality

In a previous blog posting, I wondered whether the lives of our special characters are better, worse, or the same in the new reality compared to the reality we’re familiar with. “The Substitute” shows us (or begins to show us) how Locke and Ben’s lives have changed.

John Locke’s life is very different in the new reality. He is still disabled, in a wheelchair, and he still has the love of his life, Peggy Bundy…I mean Katey Sagal…I mean Helen Norwood in his life. In the new reality, Rose helps John Locke accept his disability and move on with his life. In the reality we are familiar with, his disability is gone, and so he never has to accept it. However, in that reality, he is trapped on an island, where arguably he is happy. However, in the new reality, perhaps it is a greater happiness to accept what can’t be changed, and freely move on with his life with the one he loves. In the new reality, he is still trapped in his wheelchair and by his disability, but in the reality we’re familiar with, he is trapped on an island, never to see his beloved Peggy Bundy – I mean Helen Norwood – again. We don’t know if Helen Norwood dies in the new reality as she does in the one we are familiar with, but even if she does, she and John Locke can now have up to three years together that they didn’t have in the reality we’re familiar with.

Ben Linus, shockingly, is a history teacher in the new reality! At the same school where John Locke gets a job (with Rose and Hurley’s help) as a substitute teacher (cute, how Locke is a substitute, and in the reality we’re familiar with, The Smoke Monster substituted for Real John Locke, and the name of the episode is “The Substitute”). I was very conflicted seeing Ben that way; I expected creepiness to ooze out of him as it usually does, but instead, he was understandably irritated in a way that most people would be, and he was polite, friendly, and not creepy.

Speaking of Ben, the man who plays him (Michael Emerson) was on Jimmy Kimmel Live (Part 1, Part 2). I’ve seen him not being Ben before, but it’s always fun to see how brilliant an actor he really is, since he is not creepy at all in real life.

Best Cereal EVER!

Banana Nut Cheerios. You're welcome.

I suppose I should elaborate a bit more.

When I first heard the words above (without seeing the picture on the box), I thought, “Ew, it’s probably just regular Cheerios (which are always good) with pieces of dried bananas and maybe some nuts mixed in.” I was very wrong. It’s more like Honey Nut Cheerios, except with Banana. Real bananas are used (based on the delicious banana-y taste and also it says so on the box) and are integrated into the delicious little o’s.

It tastes like really yummy banana nut bread, particularly if you have it with milk.

If you don’t or can’t drink real milk, it’s also good with almond milk, but I have to admit, the former is significantly more delicious than the latter. I don’t know if the real milk brings out more of the banana and nut flavors, or if the slightly almondy taste of the almond milk, (which is normally something I like about almond milk) is over-powering or obscuring some of the banana-y and nutty flavors. I haven’t tried it with soymilk, so anti-lactose people might still be in luck. Oh, also, like other forms of Cheerios, it’s rather tasty with no milk as well, though the dry form is definitely not as delicious as it is with milk.

I’m not much of a cereal person in general, but I truly believe that Banana Nut Cheerios is the best cereal I’ve ever had in my life.

Oh yeah, it’s also probably healthy for you, what with the whole grains and such. But who cares, it’s ridiculously delicious! I’m lying, I do care about the healthiness too, but in this case, that’s really just an added bonus, because even if it weren’t healthy, it would still be worth every delicious bite.

SPOILER ALERT – Lost Season 6 “What Kate Does”

I had a thought that I forgot to mention in my previous Lost-related blog posting, but I think it might still be relevant.

In “What Kate Does,” we find out what Kate did, but we don’t really know what Jacob did.

In the new reality in Lost, there is a good chance that Jacob hasn’t touched our special characters as he did in the reality we’re familiar with. If that is the case – if Jacob didn’t touch their lives both literally and figuratively – I wonder if it changes their lives, and if so, for the better or for the worse.

I was worried that Kate, without Jacob telling her to “be good,” might lack morals in the new reality. It almost seemed that way in “LA X,” as she hijacked the cab containing Claire. However, her morals are clearly intact, as it was very evident in “What Kate Does” that she felt terrible once she realized Claire was pregnant, and proceeded to help her fateful friend.

Jack also seemed to have needed Jacob’s touch and encouragement since in “LA X” he seemed to lack confidence that he might have gotten from Jacob’s “little push.” He was nervous in “LA X,” but in the pilot, he was not. However, it is clear that Jack is still a good (and confident) doctor when he saves Charlie. So perhaps his lack of confidence or fearfulness doesn’t affect his doctoring abilities.

We will have to see what happens in the remaining episodes, but so far it seems that Jacob’s potential lack of influence in the new reality has not affected our special characters in significant ways; perhaps destiny took care of everything meaningful, whether Jacob was involved or not.

SPOILER ALERT – Lost Season 6 Premiere and Beyond, Somewhat

I finally got around to watching Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse (Lost producers) on Jimmy Kimmel Live from the night of the Lost Season 6 premiere, and OMG! They revealed things!

They mention what we already know (assuming you’ve seen “LA X” (the Season 6 premiere)): that John Locke is the Smoke Monster. However, they also state that John Locke is not possessed by the Man in Black! This means the statue-fighting-the-Smoke-Monster hieroglyphic was not evidence that the Smoke Monster is the Man in Black as I suggested in a previous blog posting, but rather was foreshadowing Jacob’s fight with Fake John Locke. I was sure Fake John Locke was the Man in Black, even more so after seeing “LA X.” The interactions between Jacob and Fake John Locke seem blatantly like the interactions between Jacob and Man in Black (oh, right, I was calling him Guy-in-Black…whatever). Therefore, perhaps Guy-in-Black is to the Smoke Monster/Fake John Locke as Jacob is to Richard, or perhaps to the leader of the Island (Charles Widmore, Ben). That is, perhaps the Smoke Monster answers to Guy-in-Black as the leader of the Island and Richard answer to Jacob. (These thought might have been inspired by this blog.)

Very interestingly, Kimmel suggests that Sayid is now possessed by Jacob. Since I’m not the sharpest tool in the shed, I thought Sayid actually came back to life…I should’ve known better – of course that can’t happen, as we learned when John Locke was “resurrected.” The producers, however, imply that Kimmel might be on the right track in some way. Therefore, assuming Sayid is possessed by someone, I think there are two possibilities.

As Kimmel said, Sayid might be possessed by Jacob. This makes a lot of sense, since Jacob told Hurley to get Dying Sayid to the temple, so perhaps that is where Jacob intended on inhabiting Sayid’s corpse. Alternatively, perhaps Guy-in-Black has inhabited Sayid. Since Guy-in-Black is not inhabiting John Locke’s body, he is free to inhabit another body. Or maybe it’s someone else entirely…Or maybe Sayid was resurrected. The latter is doubtful, but still possible.

The producers mentioned that there will be numbers in the next few weeks, which is exciting of course, because numbers are fun! Yay! They also announced that the Lost series finale will air on Sunday May 23, 2010.

The Leno Saga Continues on the Super Bowl

David Letterman and Jay Leno, along with Oprah Winfrey, have come together for a rather funny Super Bowl ad for The Late Show with David Letterman. According to Late Show executive producer Rob Burnettt, all parties, led by Letterman, did it simply to entertain people. They have succeeded, assuming I am people.

The Super Bowl ad is sort of a sequel to Letterman’s 2007 Super Bowl ad with Oprah, following their pseudo-feud.

Of course, this year’s ad follows weeks of comedic clashes between Letterman, Leno, and Conan O’Brien regarding The Tonight Show and Leno’s insistence on hosting it without regard to its rightful host.

This Super Bowl commercial accomplishes two things that Leno was unable to do recently: reinstate his nice-guy image and be funny – or at least recognize what is funny.